She Gets Me

My daughter, Beatle, has a sense of humor very much like mine. We are definitely two different people but she gets me...my five-year-old gets me. I can be talking to another kid and slide some discreet humor in the mix and Beatle will just look at me with twinkly eyes and I know that she knows what just happened. Or like tonight, in our car in the parking lot after church, we were hungry and I was rifling around in my wallet to see if I had any money and after I looked through it, I turned to her casually and asked, "You wanna go get a beer?" And then we both start howling with laughter at the same time, the same way. If I could put that sound in a mystical conch shell and wear it around my neck like Ursula the Sea Witch, I would. She's my daughter, first and foremost, but she's also my buddy.

Spills, Thrills and Chills

I had a list going of all the things I should blog about but of course I couldn't find it when I had a chance to blog.

I've started selling Scentsy. It just seemed to crazy not to. Here, no one really knows about it and the ones who did wanted to buy from someone but didn't know who to go to. So far, I haven't made ANY money but it's been fun. :) haha!

Scentsy does remind me of a Birdie story. She is into EVERYTHING! I have come to the conclusion that most of the stress in my life right now comes from trying to accomplish too much when she's awake. We're just in that stage where if I leave her unattended for too long some sort of catastrophe is brewing. I had my trial scents where she could reach but they're all wax and in jars she'd have to unscrew. I didn't care to much if she rifled around in them. Well, I forgot about the room spray. I have no idea how a 8 month old figured out how to unscrew the lid but she was sitting in a mess of aromatic oil when I came back...and it was sticky! (Not what I imagined.) Our house smells awesome though and so do all my cleaning rags which makes me want to suggest to the company that they start doing a line of some sort of laundry fragrances!

I have never been so thankful for my hardwood floors in all my life! Just the other day, Beatle walked in with her grape creamslush and it just fell to the floor as soon as we walked through the door. Purple goo was oozing everywhere. I just stood there for a second until it soaked in what just happened...it's not everyday you see something that color on your floors.

We've since learned that the fireplace that BR tried to install could have blown us to smitherines because it was originally made for propane not natural gas. So, we've got to try to re-coop our money and sell it to someone who has propane; not to mention, thank the Good Lord for sparing us once again from our own ignorance.

Beatle spent the night last weekend with her best friend and I thought she'd never come home and then when they did go their separate ways, they just cried and cried so we let them talk on the phone and invited her over after church on Sunday. I'm so glad Beatle has found a good friend from a nice family!!!

Beatle broke up a fight at rugtime yesterday...I heard about it from another teacher who said that she just cracks them up. She apparently asserted that he calm down while she held the boy's fists until he calmed down a little bit. Then he started to do the boxer shuffle with his dukes still up asking Beatle, "You want a piece of me, Beatle? You want a piece of this?" bahaha! I am rueful to say that this is the boy that is still her boyfriend. I told Beatle that she doesn't want a man like that to marry. I asked her, "Do you ever see dad try to fight me?" "Yeah!" she declared from the backseat. Ding, dong! Scuffling is NOT the same as real fighting.

She and I went to the Little Rock Philharmonic Orchestra to listen to spooky music from popular movies and symphonies. We had a date and we enjoyed it a lot. Coming in costume was encouraged so she wore her Indian costume and I dressed up like the conductor. Right before we got out of the car, she made me wipe off my fake mustache because she was afraid they wouldn't let me go into the girls restroom with her. haha! She's turning into such a worrier. Aren't kids not supposed to give a rip? Even in the balcony, I could tell she was stressing and she finally told me it was because she thought the balcony would collapse. My mom worried at a young age because her parents were emotionally unstable at times. What are Beatle's tendencies telling me???

Also, Beatle says "Hatan" instead of "Satan". It's quite cute because she's usually talking quite seriously when she says it.

I better get back to tending to the house and the babe before she starts teething on the toilet brush or something! Oh, have I posted that she pulled our laptop off of an endtable and killed it??? Yeah! I'm on a borrowed one. Children are blessings from the Lord!!! :) It's times like those when I have to remind myself that people are more important than things. Love you all!

Be Wary of Nicknaming...

Two cute expressions Beatle says--"whooped cream" instead of "whipped cream" and "oh right" instead of "alright".

She's now in love with the boy who was tormenting her and calling her fat the first few weeks of school. He said she looked cute yesterday and she made a heart with her hands at him across the rug at rug time. She said that he said, "Yeah baby. That's a heart oh right." :) Why do we always go after the boys that drive us crazy??? Hopefully, her taste in "men" will improve as she ages.

Yesterday, we had a blog worthy conversation on the way home from school, oh right! :) She was telling me that the boy she used to love, Gage, (you know, before she fell in love with the other boy) was making up nicknames for other kids so Beatle thought she'd come up with a nickname for him. She shortened his name and dubbed him "Gay". By her incredulous accounting, "He just got so mad and told the teacher. And the teacher made me, me!, apologize. I don't understand...I was just making up a nickname for him and my teacher said that that word means happy anyways." She seemed like she was still in a fog of disbelief. I asked her if the teacher understood what she was trying to do and she said that her teacher did and explained it to the boy but, nonetheless, Beatle still felt at fault for the whole thing and didn't know why. BR and I committed long ago to the idea that we will have a constant dialogue with our children about sexuality instead of just having one jarring conversation about it. So, parked in our driveway, I mustered up the simple (and I stress, age appropriate) words to tell her what "gay" means to a lot of other pople as well as pointing out what God's Word says about it. She sat quietly and listened, with her eyebrows doing a lot of activity, and then said, "Well, he must have known about that meaning. Can we eat our snack outside today?" haha! BR and I had a good laugh about that. Ahhh, the wonders of school!

More Corndog Related Disappointment

I've been edged out. Yes, me--pushiest of the pushy--has been edged out. I am no longer a homeroom mother. I had been asked along with another mom to share responsibilities as room mother. Easy cheesy, right? It sure started off that way. I did a party, then she did a party. I'd give her a call now and then with things that I knew was going on and share emails I had with the teacher. I thought all was going swimmingly until she decided there needed to be a pecking order. We started chatting after school one day and she told me she had seen a paper somewhere with her name billed on top of mine so I went home and told BR that I was getting vibes that she was wanting to establish some sort of something about this. Next day, I'm picking up Beatle and her teacher comes to my car window and said that So-and-So's Mom had sent home a letter with all the kids proclaiming she was the one and only room mother and the teacher was concerned and wanted to see how I felt about it. I told her that if she wanted it that bad, she could have it. I have higher ambitions...the PTA! Muhahaha! :) P.s. The letter was absolutely ridiculous. I haven't had one of those "high school" moments in awhile. I guess I was due.

WE SOLD OUR VAN! R.I.P GOLD DUST. Just this afternoon, right before the game, a guy came and got it. He had been stalking it from day one and kept giving us these low, crap offers. Then we realized, nobody was giving us any offers so we met in the middle and it's done and out of our front yard! Yay! And, I don't know if this is considered racist or stereotypical but I'll tell you what, from all my time in Fort Worth having yard sales and then selling the van, Mexicans drive a freaking hard bargain! They like to negotiate. BR would tell you that they are absolutely one of my favorite people groups...I would be one if I could. I love their sense of family but also, they work really hard for their money and they appreciate it so they want to get THE LOWEST price for something they can. BR was like a true car salesmen; you know, you'll start negotiating and then they have to go "talk to their manager" off in some office and you never see them. I was inside making empanadas for the game and BR came in a few times needing a pep talk to hold firm to our price. haha! Empanadas too...what a kicker. He did really good though.

This may surprise you but my whole life I've done stupid things. :) I laughed until I practically peed myself the first few times I saw Tommy Boy but especially the part where he's "Fat guy in a little coat". My sister has always been much smaller than I but I would always "try her clothes on". There were a few instances where I'd even stretch things out or bust zippers. It makes no sense; it's a compulsion. Even if she leaves her jeans lying around now, I would definitely think about slipping them on. There's just no explaination for something so stupid. Well, something sort of like that happened this week. I was swinging Beatle on her swing in the backyard and I thought I would try to see if I could hold myself up on her trapeze bar. It never even crossed my mind that I was such a lard that maybe the timber couldn't hold ME up! I'm counting on my husband's carpentry skills to fix my boo-boo or we owe her a new swingset.

Her swingset has two parts to it; the part that I broke and then a little look out part with a slide up high. I'm thinking it was in my panic to make things right after tubby demolished her playplace, I mentioned something about having a sleepover up there on some weekend. As soon as I picked her up on Friday afternoon...it was THAT weekend. We went to a crafts fair that closed long before we were done poking around or even got a corndog! We were all totally devastated. It never even crossed our minds that it would close so early on a Friday. I ran up to a food vendor asking if they still had corndogs and, with a smirk, the cashier told us that those were the last two, pointing to a plate some skinny girl was holding while she was bouncing away. We were devastated. In an effort to cheer herself up, Beatle starts talking up all the things we're going to do when we get home for our mom/daughter campout. BR knows that I'd rather be sleeping in my own bed so he lowers the boom on Beatle, telling her that mommy may not sleep outside. Does timing mean nothing to him?!? There she is in her trucker hat with crusted lunch still on her face boo-hooing in the midway of a closing craft fair. After shooting him a look of "What were you thinking?!?" I assure her that we will have our sleepover. Then, he finds a BBQ truck that still had some food. Beatle states that she wants a turkey leg but I tell him that I really just wanted a corndog and don't want anything from here so he starts to leave. Again, for real? Please BR, don't hold back, just heap the disappointment on her head all at once. While I really appreciate him being sensitive to me, he was totally oblivious to another fragile female in our family. We got her a turkey leg and she happily ate it all the way home in the jeep. :) Our sleepover outside was fun--lil bit scary since I was supposed to be the rock--not gonna lie. You could tell though, she was SO happy. BR came out to check on us (and get the remains of the turkey leg carcas--it takes awhile to eat one of those and we didn't want to have it with us out there while we slept for fear of critters) before he went to bed (he slept on the couch with a window open) when we heard something. He grabbed the flashlight and shone it at the building and saw a "huge" rat. Yuck! And then something woke me up at 1 am. I rolled over to see a skunk in our back yard. Ewww! But overall, we had a blast, nothing got us and we slept well.

Ok, I'm done for the night! After talking about last night's sleep on boards outside, I'm ready to get into MY bed now. :) Sorry, I've been awful windy tonight!

Pigs! Pigs! Pigs!

Much to my dismay, Beatle thinks she's a Razorback fan now that we live in AR. I mean, it's all they got here so I can see how she's been easily brainwashed. We were watching some type of cake-off on Food Network and one of the contestants was from Arkansas so we decided to root for her. Nearing the dramatic conclusion, I told Beatle to "Call the Hogs" which is some sort of combination of the words "Woo Pig" and "Sooie". Although I wish the Razorbacks well, I have yet to call the Hogs myself and don't see that possibility on the horizon anytime soon. I about fell out of my chair laughing when Beatle just starts whooping out "Pigs! Pigs! Pigs! Pigs!" Some fan, huh? :)

This last weekend, the girls and I loaded up and headed to OK for a celebration weekend. My best friend is soon to have her first child so I got to help throw a nice shower with some of my favorite girls in the world and my dad turned 60 so we wanted to celebrate that as well. At my dad's party, we hooked up a Karaoke machine because there's always a guitar and singing when we get together anyways. We thought it would be fun. Beatle has two cousins that she's sandwiched in between and typically all the girls play well together and are really cute because they are 4, 5, and 6. But differences between the three of them are starting to appear as they get older and one of those was glaringly evident while they were singing. Beatle stepped up to the mic to sing children's songs and Bible songs right after the cousins did a run of Lady Gaga and Michael Jackson. For a split second, I thought, "Oh, my child is such a nerd. She doesn't know any of these songs and can't sing with her cousins." And then, my spirit contradicted, "No, wait. She is a child. She's singing the songs she should be singing. To expose her to more mature messages wouldn't benefit her. It's my job right now to guard her heart." Spending most of my time feeling like I don't have a clue how to be a good mom, I felt so proud of Beatle that night.

I love listening to children work out their problems! I always have. The way they "naughty talk" each other cracks me up! On another occasion this weekend, I overheard Beatle and her older cousin tussling. The older cousin was keeping something from Beatle and ran away with it. Beatle followed her into the other room and said, "Sailor, you are the baddest cousin in the world!" haha! I had to break in at that point and have Beatle apologize and get them to work this out better.

When we got back to AR, the weather was finally crisp and cool. We hopped out of the car and went straight to the backyard to play and stretch our legs before the sun set. BR was at night church but had left Beatle's Barbie Jeep charging. So she started driving around and I put Birdie in with her. We got them all strapped in and I got the video camera and they were having fun until Beatle ramped one side of the Jeep on a raised flower bed and flipped the Jeep up on it's driver's side. It seemed to happen in slow motion but I was moving even slower. I got the whole mess to varying degrees on video. Beatle tumbled out and Birdie fell out. I got there right before the Jeep fully flipped right on top of Birdie. Oi-yoi-yoi! I'm telling you...it's always an adventure around here.

Birdie's got 6 teeth now--4 on top and two on bottom. One of her top front teeth has grown in a few days later than the others so it's a shorty which makes for a cute, crazy little smile.

I finally found Birdie's go-to tickle spot. Other places have been mildly amusing but this one is bring-her-to-her-knees ticklish. It's so fun to constant be learning about these little people!

Snowing in the Shower and Other Ways to Torture your Young 'ens

Tonight was fun. I work the front desk at the Fitness Ministry a few hours a week, normally on Monday nights so BR's decided (with my prodding) that Monday's can be "Daddy Cooks Night". Brilliant, isn't it? Well, tonight he was whipping up pancakes when I came in and talked him into saving it for breakfast and going out for pizza. See how I worked that, ladies??? Two meals out of one man just like that! :)

We were all in a frisky, crazy mood tonight. You might even say that we were whoosing a little without licenses. :) Beatle was supposed to jump in the shower (for the third day in a row! a new record, people! i would give her a break but she keeps coming in smelling like an old dog.) but she kept goofing off and shaking her nekkid booty at me. So, when I finally got her in, I decided to whip out one of my specialties--you know, the cold water over the top of the shower. She was so mad at me! She was talking all big in there so I was going to take it one step further; all the while, BR's pleading with me, "Corrie, you're the adult. You can stop this." haha! I go and open an old box of malt-o-meal and sprinkle it over the top of the shower. hahaha!!! She was furious! Meanwhile, I've had some weevil issues I've been trying to fight with all my good stuff in the fridge/freezer and when I opened the shower door, I see Beatle seething, covered with white and black (weevil) specks. She forgives quicker than most.

During the past few days when I'd ask Beatle to do something, she'd reply in a valley girl voice, "Oh, huh, it would like be the thrill of my life." and roll her eyes. But, she'd go do it. I don't really care if it is or isn't the thrill of her life...NEWSFLASH: wiping Birdie's butt isn't the thrill of my life. trying to oxiclean the sharts out of her underware isn't the thrill of my life. there are a lot of things you're going to have to do that aren't the thrill of your life so JUST DO IT! haha! I'm not upset by this newfound expression yet, I'm still mildly amused by it.

I've been throwing sticky, cooked and unused pasta at my family for years now but the other night when we had lasagna we found out that those noodles are like leather straps after they've sat and cooled for awhile! Instead of pickin' switches, I might have my kids boil their noodles. :) This post, in it's totality, is making me sound really demented and cruel, but I swear, I'm making GOOD memories!

Tonight, during her prayers, Beatle was so cute. (Not many things in this world are as cute as kids' prayers! God must just love them!) She wasn't far into her prayer when she said, "God, I don't like you. (Long pause with my eyebrows shot sky high) I LOVE you. And Jesus, sometimes I get your name mixed up and call you your dad's, I'm sorry and I hope I'm doing it right this time. In Jesus Name, Amen" LOVE IT!

Quick Blog before Swamp People!

It's been awhile since I've blogged. I've been so sick lately but I'm feeling better now--yay! Birdie didn't know what to do when she crawled after mom and mom was "spitting up" in the toilet. Hmm... Ewww. I know. BR and I were terrified that I was pregnant again but alas, not so. Too much, too soon.

BR's not going to the City of Lights/Love. He chickened out. No, I don't really know why. He felt like it was too last minute and while our church isn't suffering financially, we are striving to be fiscally responsible and BR didn't feel like he was being so to just jump into a trip with not much preparation, mostly for the experience on the church's dime. A collective "awwww, isn't he a great guy?" rings out. Yes, let the public believe what they will. :)

The other night, we were all (minus Birdie-she was in bed already) cuddling on the couch and I asked Beatle what she thought of our marriage. After a painful and eye-opening review, she had BR and I shaking with laughter. It was one of those times (like the church giggles) where you know if you breathe, you are in for it because it would just be a gasp and the jig would be up. Beatle was talking about how it drives her crazy when we..."What's that word when you pinch and poke someone?" "Goose?" I offered. "Yes! I hate goosing! It reminds me of whoosing and kids whoose all the time at school without a license...blah, blah, blah" She just kept going on about this "whoosing without a license" business and it was burning her up inside. We were dying!

Birdie's pulling up more and more. It's a matter of time before she starts "cruising" along the furniture. She's only just now 8 months! This is so much earlier than Beatle.

In true Roberts child fashion, Birdie is a happy, healthy baby until just days before we go home and see my mother then, like her older sister, something exceptionally traumatic happens that leaves a battlescar like some sort of cry for help from my dingy, careless parenting. Wonderful. Birdie was riding on one of those cars kids can pull up behind and push as well. Beatle and I were scooting her back and forth outside and all having fun but Beatle pushed her too hard and her legs kicked up and then she flew forward. Whew! That was a close one. "Beatle, don't push her that hard. Easy, please." I pleaded. A few more times and that plea went out the window; now my 8-month-old has road rash on her face and we're in OK by Thursday night. Awesome.

We're working on organizing our pictures. Yikes! What a chore. It's fun but it's a chore nonetheless. Sifting through those, it's easy to see many things: 1) we're a fun family and we've done some fun things 2) Birdie looks so much like Beatle! 3) time goes so fast!!!