Double Doozie

Oh, just that title makes me hungry. I lost myself for a moment thinking of those wonderful $4.50 creations at American Cookie Company, is it? Anywho, I laid down to take a wee nap on Sunday and I felt like I had drank too much communion wine or something. The room was absolutely spinning. I found it really hard to rest because I was so dizzy. I was still having headaches all day and ditched Financial Peace so I could get some peace of my own while everyone was gone. That night, I stayed up until 2 am just because every time I laid down, I felt like I was going to barf. Then, I finally did and got a little sleep. I've been struggling with this for a few days and then when I had to get off the phone with my sis because I felt like hurling, I made a doctor's appt. My mom and I were running down the list of what could be wrong (preggers? type 2 diabetes? blood pressure? brain tumors?) haha, ok not the last one. Went in today and I was ecstatic to know that I just had two ear infections! It was so weird, because in all fairness to my mom and her "medical degree" she suggested that first, but I never had any pain. Isn't that funny how our minds can race though and turn situations into something so much bigger?

Beatle and Birdie got their flower girl dresses in today for my sister's wedding. They are just precious! Birdie going down the aisle is going to stress me out. She's so cantankerous. She's at that age now where she's mimicking things and it's so cute! Today, she started "shhh"ing with her pudgy fingers over her pursed lips. She's seen us shhh her screaming mimi of a foster sister too many times, I suppose.

We found out from Baby's caseworker that, if we weren't prepared for it before, to prepare ourselves now that we should be in it for the long haul. She projected to stay until Halloween but of course anything could happen. I'm learning so much from this experience. One of the things is that she's just intrinsically different than us. She's been through a lot, I know, but her coping mechanisms are different than my girls'. And she's SO much louder. Have I mentioned that already? :) She just bellers. It's startling really. Beatle really has a fondness for her and we do to. We hope to be a bright beginning for her. We do ask for you to pray for us and her mom as it's very much of a question mark if she will even go to her great aunt and uncle's in OK.

Aunt Becky comes this weekend and then my family after that! We're looking forward to some company. It's been a little while.

My Life as a Model...

Ummm, yeah. Stupid moment of gumption. What a ridiculous situation I've gotten myself into now. Our church is having an event on May 7th for our preteen girls called Secret Keeper Girls. A woman who is my age and looks unbelievably like Barbie (she intimidates the frick out of me) is in charge of getting models projecting a "healthy" body image (i.e. could sit on top of her and eat her portion of lunch). They needed several different sizes and were having a hard time getting an outgoing person for one of the sizes so I felt compelled to help...the problem is that I'm not that size...yet!!! I went home after her pleas and was talking to Brent about her need and pulled that size of jeans out of my closet and said if I could put them on and zip them up, it would be a sign that I should help. They zipped right up! So the next day, I called her up and told her that she could count on me until I found out that they are doing a throw back to TV characters with these models and the size 14 (me!) is Alice the maid off of the Brady Bunch!!! Horror!! Are you kidding me?? Being my size, I need all of the help I can get and I don't want to be a maid! Being a size 14 in my old, old American Eagle jeans with a muffin top is much different than wearing an all white smock with matching white sneakers! My body is not smock material. Anyways, I have three choices: 1) Squeeze into that white dress and look like a lumpy tube of toothpaste, risking the possibility of ripping the back while everyone admits to their friends they didn't think I was really a size 14. 2) Call the exceptionally perky, beauty queen and explain to her that I was just jerking her chain and stick her with the slot to fill in a month or 3) Eat 1,200 calories a day, continue my running and working out and be a confident size 14 again by May 7th! Well, I'm choosing #3 even though I'm still nervous that I might, in ignorance, actually be choosing #1.

Free the leashed children in America! Not! I'm actually in the market for a leash for Birdie. I'm really considering it. Aren't I playing right into the foster mom stereotype? Don't judge me until you have two small children in your care. It's so hard because she's getting so fast and I have to be so thoughtful on the order I get the girls out of the car or Birdie is at risk. She's not exactly mastered holding my hand yet--trying holding a pixie's hand with another baby on your hip...can you say scoliosis??? Plus, we're taking her on a cruise with us and I've never cruised before but I'm just thinking that if God, the Almighty, trusted Mary and Joseph to be the Earthly parents of His son and they still lost him at a family event, I should definitely get a back up plan!

Risk-Taking Party Mustangs Reject Sheets of Doom and Reading Monkeys (wait, what?)

I haven't felt this way since college. I was hunched over my computer earlier, praying that God would make time stand still so I could make a deadline. That confirmed that I don't EVER want to go back to school. No it wasn't a paper. I was entering items to sale in a consignment event in our area. I put in 125 items and it took me exponentially longer than I thought! But it is done, I made the deadline and I get to sit back this week and watch the money roll in. The best part, it's all free money. I love it when people pass clothes on to us. I could probably count on my fingers and toes the clothes we've bought in a store for either Beatle or Birdie. Not many, my friends. This latest load was given with permission to take what I wanted for the babies and to sell the rest at a yard sale. It would probably be nicer to pass them on to someone else, but not as resourceful. :)

Baby turned one this weekend and we had a lot of fun just having a simple little party on the back deck. Baby's mom found out what church we went to/worked at and showed up Wed night. That caused a little stir and she was advised to try a different church. I know she was wanting to see Baby on her birthday and I know how sentimental I get on first birthdays so we were able to arrange an unsupervised visit at Chick-Fil-A on Saturday and it all went well enough. (BR kept our girls at home and I had a friend meet me up there just in case it didn't.) I just always come home with a suitcase full of emotions and I'm not sure where to put them when I "unpack" after a visit like that. Maybe I'll get used to it, maybe I won't, all I know is I feel a little lost and confused after interacting with her and Baby.

Beatle's still working on her reading and writing. I feel like I'll have a reading-monkey on my back until summer. Meaning, that while her teacher has been awesome at trying to help us find solutions, she's made it very clear that this is the final push. Mush, mush you dog of a mother! Summer's more mine and Beatle's speed. Our motto: We'd rather be crafting. We're doing "sheets of doom" for a few minutes every night. Yes, Beatle's dubbed worksheets as "sheets of doom" already in her young educational life. For what she may lack right now in other areas, she makes up for in creativity. She told me tonight that I need to help her stay focused on her worksheet because "it starts with dots on the side and then, next thing you know, I'm drawing pictures". One of our personal favorites from a few months ago has a girl screaming on the backside of a "sheet of doom"--one of those really good, Charlie Brown screams where the head is tilted back and the mouth is exaggerated. Beatle single-handedly designed and helped me decorate Baby's cake--a onesie with a #1 on it. The cake-making even went awry when we were making the second layer and she adapted the mistake and suggested we make a bib with it. It was perfect! I understand my attitude trickles down to Beatle, so I just want to put it out there, that I'm trying to be really positive about school, this is just my outlet to vent sans listening ears.

This weekend she went to play outside and came running back in screaming within no time. A bug was flying through the air and landed smack on her shirt. Laughing, I couldn't identify him so I scraped him off her shirt while she was jumping around screaming. Her dad and her put him in a bag to take to school today so the science lab could identify him. After school, as soon as we walked in, there he was crawling across the floor. Cue the glass-shattering shrieks again. (I love that scream. It's hilarious. I can totally see why boys would drop bugs down girls' shirts and do other mischievous things just to hear it.) She starts screaming for her dad who's not home but even when I tell her that she's still just standing there screaming for him. She's going to try to take him back to school tomorrow, hoping that he won't use his super-buggy strength again to escape.

I like being this age. I think it's because I learning more of who I am and I'm accepting it. I had an epiphany on Sunday morning. For years, I've felt labeled as "irresponsible". That really hurt my feelings and drove me crazy because I didn't feel irresponsible. If you trusted me with a task, I would see it through. I'm a natural born leader, that I knew. How could I be consistently irresponsible and be a (usually) effective leader? It didn't help matters that I was a relatively young mother; that only reinforced the stereotype. My aha! moment was when I realized that I'm NOT irresponsible but I AM a risk-taker. Sometimes the two can get the same haircut and dress alike but they are definitely two separate things. I love adventure and risks and sometimes that plays into the hands of looking reckless to some but I know that my God created me with that chip and I can't help but think that He likes people like me. I'll take a walk on the wild side with Him any day.

I'm going to leave you with some things you might want to keep in your back-pocket for various social situations, for instance, the term "Party Mustang". It was coined on Saturday by Beatle when she was rarin' to participate in some birthday parties. Also, it's nice to comfort your Anglo friends when you start bonding with other fellow ethnic people by telling them, "It's Ok. You wouldn't want to be an Indian anyways; it's really hard work." Not sure if she's talking directly about the hunting and gathering or the nomadic lifestyle...also, the ethnic friend has the last name Santiago so, I'm thinking she probably wasn't 100% as to what Beatle was referring to either...seeing that SHE'S MEXICAN! :) Adios!

We are Salvation Army Strong

Oh, and our future brother-in-law Zac just completed a large milestone and graduated his boot camp with the Salvation Army. Beatle thinks that he's in the Salvation Army!!! A man in uniform has always caught Suzanne's eye, do you think a red vest counts? I bet his wrist is super sore from ringing that bell for 10 weeks!!!

Serious note, even though I'm still giggling to myself, we're really proud of him and Suz. I know it's been hard on both of them. Wish we could have been there but I feel like I was from her stories. Can't believe she's going to be an Army Wife...don't think that's what anyone, including her, imagined.

Goose Eggs Galore!

Where does this story begin? I don't even know!!! We've got some friends here in Hot Springs that are just good ol' folks. You know the kind...homeschool their kids, the man works with his hands, they have several American flag t-shirts (and even button-downs for nice occasions), and real conservative. They've done so much for us and God has really been working in their lives the last year. Somehow, they attained goose eggs...real goose eggs!!! And somehow they approached Beatle about them. Again, I don't know how this came into fruition but next thing I know, Beatle is jazzed about getting these eggs and they are wanting to link up with us about said eggs. I meet them after church in the parking lot, where they pull a foil covered platter out of the ice chest in their Astro van. The boy that's Beatle's age starts joking that she should sit on them if she wants them to hatch and then I'm drug into a rather awkward conversation about the birds and the...ahem, birds with the dad. While flustered, I'm groping for the appropriate word to call male and female geese and then I sputter, "I don't know many foul words." He diffused the situation by cleverly remarking that as a pastor's wife, I shouldn't know foul words. Whew! That was funny and then we were off. I had to get home and get these ginormous eggs in the fridge before we left town on our trip. On the way home, I realized that Beatle really thought she could hatch these eggs from watching "Fly Away Home" several snowdays ago on Netflix. Oh no! I break it to her that from the conversation I could have done without, I learned that there's no way that these can be baby geese. She's still rubbing them, asking if "you are a boy or girl in there?". Then, she starts rubbing them on her cheek and I warn her that it would bother some people to know that they just came out of a goose's po-po! And I'm one of those people. We get home and put them in the fridge and are off on our trip. Meanwhile, Beatle is telling EVERYONE she sees that she has goose eggs. Nobody knows what the heck she is talking about. Nobody really thinks that she has REAL goose eggs.

We start talking to family in OK about these eggs and asking if anyone has ever tried them and then we get on the subject of farm fresh chicken eggs and how I don't think I've ever had them. Next thing I know, my uncle tells me that on our way back to AR, to stop by and he'll have some farm fresh eggs for us. What do you know? When we see my parents, my uncle had dropped off 2 dozen eggs for us to precariously transport back to Arkansas.

I'm getting nervous and my throat gets tight when I get home and start thinking about eating all of these wild eggs. Give me hormone injected, "weaker" tasting eggs anyday...at least I don't get cold sweats thinking about them. I get wiggy about chicken and eggs, in general anyways. But I woman up and make eggs for breakfast but I WILL NOT eat the goose eggs. Beatle is chipper to cook her giant goose egg by herself. The yolk is friggin' huge when she cracks it!! I start yakking and have to step outside under the guise of "sneezing" for Beatle's sake. I love that she's an adventurous eater, I just couldn't be a part of it that morning. The consistency was totally different. She tried it but reluctantly admitted later that day that "it wasn't fabulous". And, after all of the egg endeavors, BR and I couldn't even muster up the courage to eat the chicken eggs...we just stuck with our toast. The babies ate them up though. We've resolved that we're going to use up all of the chicken eggs in things. As for the other two goose eggs, I haven't dealt with them yet. They may wind up in the compost pile.

Birdie fell down a step (or two...) while I was farting with my new phone and has quite a bruised goose egg on her forehead. Bad mommy! If I've accidentally called you and hung up, don't blame me. I didn't get my honeymoon period with my new touchscreen yet.

Had to go to San Diego!

We're back from our WONDERFUL trip in San Diego where we learned a lot at the Children's Pastors' Conference and then, when we didn't have to be there, we were total beach bums. I even learned how to surf and had an awesome time!!! I can see how it would become a total addiction--something I MUST do more of in the future. I think I was supposed to live in San Diego. The weather is perfect! Not all hot and humid but wonderfully warm and slightly breezy.

San Diego is special to Brent and I because when he lived in Arizona, we went there on a lovely trip (a last-ditch effort on my part) and I was just sure he was going to tell me he loved me or ask me to marry him but, alas, he did neither really (sure, he hemmed and hawed but never came out and said either) and I hopped a plane home afterward and started moving on with my life. But, of course, now we know, he came home and got the girl but besides the disappointment on my part after it was over, we had the best time when we were there exactly a year before we were married. So, it was really fun to revisit the city now being married and much more secure in our relationship. We had a lot of laughs and "Remember when?" moments.

Beatle had a terrific birthday party. The weather was such a critical factor and it was just perfect. I don't know what my plan was but I can't believe I'm a mom to a 6-year-old!!

Been meaning to post this about Beatle--you know how she's so proud she's Native American? Well, she keeps getting it confused with Indians with a dot, not the feather. In her mind, they are the same. Then, that got us on the conversation of how some people are darker and some are lighter. She kept saying that we were more Indian than White and I was telling her, "No...you see, we're not very dark. We just have a little Indian in us." I was grasping for ways to explain this to her and then she suggested, "Is it like a cake? When you put in the vanilla, it's dark but you just put in a little and the cake still stays light?" "Yes! That's exactly it!" I love that girl. She has a way with words and food! A woman after my own heart! :)

Beatle had to miss school last week so we could go to San Diego and this week is her school's Spring Break so that lucky girl's had two weeks off. We'll see how she goes back. Hopefully, she'll be ready and we'll have had enough together time to put her heart at rest. I can't even tell you how much I love her being off school; maybe by the end of summer, I'll be ready for her to go back but we have had the best time during the day--crafts, kite flying, cooking, playing in the sprinkler, working in flower beds, etc. It may not seem like it but there's a grind that school puts on moms too--getting everyone out the door, lunch, forms, homework, and pick up. It's been fun to ditch that schedule this week.

We plan to go camping tomorrow for the first time since Birdie. (We took last summer off.) And definitely not since Baby. It shall be interesting!! We're not doing anything too serious--just 30 min away, hot dogs at night, donuts in the morning--that sort of thing.

Gotta go meet BR to get a new phone...mine's totally jacked up. Oh, and Baby's first birthday is next weekend!

Frickin' Ow!

Baby has been enrolled into Daycare. I feel a little chump about it but on the other hand, I feel so thankful. There are only a handful of people who can watch her due to the fact that she's a "ward of the State" and most of those people aren't available to help during the day (including my dear husband). So, it has been super nice to be able to have an opportunity to bond with Birdie, get some things done, etc; all the while, know she's being cared for. Plus, it gives me time to miss her and you know what they say about distance...(in unison) it makes the heart grow fonder.

Beatle's birthday is Saturday. Yay for 6! She's admitted that it feels like she's been 5 forever. :) We've got an exciting barnyard birthday party planned for Saturday morning. And then on Sunday after church, we're leaving town so there's quite a few loose ends to tie up this week but I think it will be fun work--getting ready for a party and for a trip.

Our gift to Beatle was to take her on a date, just the three of us, eat at the restaurant of her choice, get her haircut at a "salon" (not by mom on the back porch anymore), and get her ears pierced. You see, this plan can work and be affordable when they are 6. She wants to get her haircut at Walmart (just like mom!) and the restaurant that she chose was actually the Subway IN Walmart. We have yet to do our date but those are her big plans for us. haha! (you can see that we don't get out much.) However, BR did take all of us to the mall on Saturday night (which was a horrifying experience in itself--the mall crowd on a Saturday night was, shall we say, much different than the Branson, rainbows and sunshine crowd we typically run with. It made us come home and PRAY for our children and the boys they will date and the men they will marry. yikesville!) Anywhoo, we were going to check out Claire's with Brendle to get her excited for next weekend's date and to test the waters to see if she REALLY wanted to go through with her ear piercing. She watched intently as an 8-year-old got her ears pierced and they turned around, announcing that she was ready to do it. We went ahead and let her do it. Why not? It saves us a trip to the mall later. She was brave but jittery too. When they were pierced she said "Ow! Frickin' Ow!" but no tears. Her smile was wide when she peeked in the mirror afterwards. All day on Sunday, she'd have moments where she'd pontificate aloud, "I can't believe I got my ears pierced!" I was proud of her. She looks as cute as a bug. I walked up on Beatle having a conversation with a lady at church and the lady caught me up and said, "She told me she got her ears pierced and I told her that I thought she was way too young but her momma didn't ask me, now did she?" Nope. We don't take church wide votes for things like that. Sorry if that lets you down a little but watch American Idol and you can cast a vote there. Ahh, oh well. Can't please everyone. But we made one soon-to-be 6-year-old very happy without doing anything immoral or illegal. Happy Birthday Week, Beatle! You are beautiful on the inside and the out!