Sunday, February 19, 2012

At the airport, with a sign, hoping to pick up joy

With the scent of dill pickles filling my home, I sit to recount yet another week gone awry. Thanks to the prayers of many, I can only now look back and laugh about parts of this week. In the moment though I could feel Satan's fiery darts. I sat rather clueless in my James Bible study earlier this week as we discussed anguish and how the definition means physical and mental torment but with God, anguish gives birth to joy. I think I can give a pretty good testimony now!

On Tuesday, my Mom's sister had surgery and the next day they realized that she was losing way too much blood. It was so scary, as my aunt already seems so tiny and frail. They pumped her up with a blood transfusion and took her back in for surgery. It was very reminiscent of what happened to me after Birdie was born. I truly felt like I could pray for her intimately every step of the way. Praise the Lord that she seems to be on the mend now but it sure wasn't easy on her or on any hearts that dearly love her. Anguish.

Thursday, Brent and I made a few calls about Jasmine's case and found out that we've really been misled. The plans to move her to her aunt's doesn't seem like it will be anytime soon, if in the cards at all. It feels like after four months in, we're still at the beginning. It not Jasmine's fault but for a month it's felt like she's had one foot out the door. Plus, due to the Holy Spirit's leading, Brent's just introduced the ability to foster at a church-wide level but how do we move forward with that when we'd never want our friends to subject themselves to the heartache and betrayal we've felt. Anguish.

Brent's parents' house got broken into. They are such hard working and generous people. Anguish.

(This is the only one I can laugh about now!) After taking out all my frustrations and giving my brain a break during a hard workout, I was feeling better thanks to endorphins but I had to call my sister to unload about all the craziness. Brent was at a meeting in Little Rock and I didn't want Beatle to hear all of this so I had resolved to talk on the front porch. Jasmine fell asleep in the car so I left her there while I escorted Beatle and Birdie inside and hung my keys on the hook. I was dividing my attention between keeping an eye on the car and looking through the glass storm door at the girls in the living room. I didn't think much of it when Beatle came to tell me something except when she was struggling to get back in the house. I had to let my sister go to investigate myself. Yes, a nightmare had come true. Birdie flipped the lock on the glass door and I was utterly and completely dependent on a two-year-old to let me back into my own house!! Trying to coach her on how to unlock the door and hearing her say "poo-poo" from the inside...anguish! It was unbelievable. I tried to tear the whole door down but I'm not nearly as fierce as I think I am. I called Brent wailing. Next call, 911. It was awful. Only when I heard the dispatcher chuckle did I realize that it could be worse. The lady police officer showed up and eventually wound up using my tire iron (i didn't exactly know where to look for that right away) to pop the door open. It actually didn't harm the door at all. Oh, the kicker, my two dweebs wound up getting teddy bears from the police officer for their distress. Are you kidding me??? I needed flowers, a strong drink, a cigarette, something for my distress!!! All in all, I think the whole thing lasted about 45 mins to an hour.

Today, in my kitchen, we had an entire jar of pickles become a casualty as Beatle grabbed the lid, not the jar. So, if you don't like the way dill pickles smell and you live or visit my house...anguish. :)

Waiting for something beautiful to come from the ashes. Till next time!

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