Monday, January 30, 2012

We're Coming Out

Listen, I have an announcement to make and quite frankly, I'm more comfortable with saying that I'm gay than what I'm about to say...we are going to homeschool Beatle for 2nd grade. Yes, we are now officially freaks to society. I saw it coming but this is the nail in the coffin for any cool-points I hoped to score. I'm sure our decision will be misunderstood by some, judged by others and we'll be back-slapped by more awkward people than I care to be seen with in public.

Reasons: Things are not working well with the school she's at. Because of the way God made her, she requires more individual attention and less distractions. I have the opportunity to be one-on-one with her for a year of intensive study to (hopefully!!!) catch her up (Birdie will be going to preschool in the fall). And, it will work better with Brent's work schedule since his stands directly opposite of the school's schedule. Translation: Anytime we want to get away and have family time, someone is missing something important that they should be doing. It is ABSOLUTELY NOT to hide her away from the world! If anything, I hope we can experience more of the world by appointing a time during the week for us to volunteer (outside of the church) together. And this is ABSOLUTELY NOT an insult to public schools!

We've looked at another school that would be great for Beatle. It would be a slower pace than what she's in right now and they do math and reading interventions and pull-out programs that she would absolutely benefit from but the point is, it's still school. She'll still have the same yearly schedule, daily schedule with homework at night with the same pressures that testing and mainstream academics bring these days. I think we all can agree that public school has changed a lot since most of us went and that chop-chop, high-pressure experience is absolutely not Beatle. Beatle's not competitive so things like AR tests don't motivate her. She becomes easily discouraged. She's as slow as a turtle. If I told her to run because there was a man with a gun, she'd need to stop and tie her shoe and then she'd wonder what kind of gun he had and what got him to that point that he'd need to wield a gun. She's not a strong independent worker because she lacks focus. Her current teacher said that Beatle requires a lot of time to complete things and she needs a smaller ratio. When we toured the other school, I asked how many per class because it looked smaller and the Dean of Students, said that there were 20 per class "of course ideally, we'd love it if there were 10 per teacher." I can do 1-to-1! I hope that this adventure will challenge her in her weak areas; teaching her to be a self-starter, giving her lessons including things she likes and feels successful at, while demonstrating the need to complete things in a timely manner. It will definitely challenge me in the patience department! We fully intend to re-evaluate this decision every year and if we go back to public, she would be very happy at the school we toured last week.

In the 4th and 5th grade, I terrorized a kid at church because he was SO WEIRD! He had a weird name, a weird accent, ate weird things things like clam chowder and, worst of all, he was HOMESCHOOLED!!! Who does that?? I was so pro-public school and so ignorant and opinionated about homeschool for the last 20 years that when these ponderings started bubbling up in my heart a few months ago, I was both horrified and excited because anytime I've felt led to do something directly opposite of what I want to do, I know that's part of how God leads me. Beatle and I may go down in a blaze of glory for the 2nd grade but we are going to give it our best shot, by golly. And like Beatle's said before about home, "Mom, this is my habitat."

Ok, major change of subject. This has happened twice with people at church! Two women have mistaken Jasmine for Birdie. How does this happen??? Do they even know my family? First of all, Jasmine's half black for crying out loud!!! There would be some major problems if I birthed Jasmine with my white, minister husband standing by my side. Secondly, time flies, people! Birdie can drive now. Ok, not that much time has flown by but still, we can definitely sit-up on our own by now and have had a couple of birthdays under our belt. Once, I'd just chalk it up to some batty (or blind!) old lady but twice?!? That's a head-scratcher.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Faith Lessons from Children

Honestly, I do everything people ask me to do usually without asking question and I'm not much good at flexing my "no" muscles especially when it comes to what "a good mother would do". School is one example. I take everything too much to heart when they say Beatle needs improvement. I just feel desperate. There's another mom I just think the world of and her daughter and Beatle have always been about on the same level and when she goes in for conferences, she doesn't get all wrapped around the axle about what they say. She usually just ends the conference with, "She's just fine but thank you." with a big smile on her face and leaves, knowing that they're doing the best they can and, at that point, what more could you do?? Another example, we got a letter in the mail from Children's Hospital telling us an appointment time and date for Beatle's kidneys to be checked again. It was on my calendar and I was planning on going but then Brent asked, "Why is she going back? They released her from her medicine and she hasn't had one infection since." Wow! I never thought about NOT going. Silly Mom. Beatle added, "Yeah, I'm not really feeling the cord up my po-po thing." We laughed and she said, "Oh, not a cord, a tube up my po-po. I mean, why do I have to go in and have them fill me with fake pee and then let it out." Brent asked, "Would it all be worth it if we took you to Chuck E. Cheese afterwards?" (our usual Little Rock stop). She hesitated awhile and then said, "No." She continued her explanation by doing a hilarious rendition of what it would look like with her waddling around Chuck E. Cheese trying to play and other kids beating her to every machine. She's such a hoot! She never had to waddle through Chuck E. Cheese though because I canceled the appointment.

Jasmine's still here. She's really trying to get around and sit-up. This morning though, it was so sad. She was sitting up but then toppled over. At first, I didn't think the tumble was that bad but right by her eye started getting red and puffy. :( Right before one of Jasmine's first visits with her mom, a baby at daycare crawled over to Jasmine and scratched her face. I hadn't met her mom yet and didn't know it until a few weeks later but her mom saw her, she hit the ceiling, calling her attorney and everything about it. There was an abuse investigation opened on us which I didn't know about until I got a letter saying that the abuse was unsubstantiated on us and we would NOT be listed in the Child Abuse Registry! Ok, I understand they need to keep a watchful eye on the kids and look out for their best interest but that scared me!! It makes me nervous to think that I'm trying to do something good and it could blow up in my face and tarnish our reputation for life. For the past week, Jasmine's had and unsteady stomach and it left her bottom raw. It made me sad but the daycare and I were doing everything we could to keep it clean and dry. Well, while talking to Jasmine's aunt last night, she said Mom freaked out again and was commanding Lauren to give her my number. I told Lauren that we could have talked about it but I wasn't going to have her yell at me--especially when she's feeding her ravioli at visits!! Give me a break! (Plus, it hurt my feelings because I thought Mom and I had gotten to a good place.) So, this morning when she bumped her eye, I was getting upset about it because I knew that Mom would freak out and open an investigation on me again. After mentioning it for the second time, Beatle said, "Trust God, Mom. He's in this battle for you." I took it in for a second and she's exactly right. I have nothing to hide. I'm in His hands and that's a peaceful place to be.

Birdie's at that wonderful stage of development where she says at least two new words a day. It's so exciting! This morning, she kept getting up at the breakfast table and Brent was repeatedly telling her to sit down but then she started saying, "BB, juice. BB, juice." And Beatle realized that she had left Birdie's cup in the kitchen, instead of bringing it to Birdie's place setting at the table. It's nice for everyone when they can communicate!!

Monday, January 23, 2012

Pancakes, Pajamas and Puke!







What a fun but busy weekend! Whew! I sometimes worry about too much but this weekend I was really trying to make an effort to enjoy Birdie's party and not get caught up stressing about the little things. I think I was successful! We got a lot of pajamas for Potter's Clay (a shelter for women and children) and it was fun to fill the clothesline up with the jammies people brought. Plus, a brilliant sidenote that I didn't think of until after the party, but Birdie's got a bad case of the "Mine!"s so I'm really glad I didn't have to break up any baby fights over new toys.

The party started off with a bang. I decided about 45 minutes early to start the pancakes and keep them warm. Well, my schmancy cake batter pancakes weren't holding together (panslop, anyone??) and I was flat out of flour. So, panic started setting in a little until I found some self-rising flour in my freezer. Then, a family arrived a few minutes early and he was really excited, his mom said, but as soon as he got out of the car, he wasn't himself. We found out why when he threw up all over our couch a few minutes later! We puke everywhere we go so I can't be mad at the guy. I was trying to be accommodating and sweet but I really needed him and his puke stench to leave before my other guests arrived!!! Nothing says, "Welcome to my home" or "Who's ready to party?" like the smell of puke and birthday pancakes mingling. I felt so sorry for the little boy but would you believe that we were able to clean it all up, give them a craft for the road, their favors, spray air freshener and sanitize the door handles before anyone else arrived??? It was a birthday miracle! I found it ironic that the card they brought for Birdie said, "Hope your birthday is full of surprises!" Oh it was! :)

We had such a great time. All the adults got along and we chatted forever while the kids played (and there was no fighting between them! another bday miracle!). We colored on tables, did Fruit Loop necklaces, ate the fun cake-cakes, jumped on an air mattress in the living room and made Birdie feel special. A party well done, I'd say. It was easy, breezy fun. Bailey stayed longer for a more mature playdate with Beatle afterwards.

All week, we've been asking Birdie, "Whose birthday is it?" She's point to herself and say, "La-La" We'd ask, "How old are you?" Holding up a whole hand, she says, "Mmmm two!" When I tried to show her how to hold up two fingers and folded her others down, she said, "Ewwww!" haha! We're not sure about why that's ewww.



New developments about Jasmine: At court on Wednesday, they decided that she would go and live with her aunt, who is great so we feel good about the decision. It's a tiny bit sad but we knew that was a very real option. She's supposed to go sometime this week. In other news, when we were at the courthouse, I found out earlier that day, they closed the case with baby JJ that we had this summer. He's healthy, with his mom who's got a great job and gotten rid of the bad influences in her life. (She's an older mom so I really think she's got her priorities straight this time.) It sounds like a happy ending and that made me feel good.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Nothing says "Togetherness" like a Community Toothbrush

God made me with a sense of adventure and part of that is I love to travel!!! Even better, bringing the girls along. Does it get hairy? Is it stressful packing little people too? Yes and yes! But as Birdie gets older, it gets easier and I love it so much!

This weekend, we got the opportunity to go to Ft. Worth for Lifeway's VBS Training. Brent is part of the state team that will go around this spring and do clinics. So, of course, I wanted to go too! My parents were so awesome and they met us in Ft. Worth so I could attend some of the conference sans children and they could spend some quality time with the grandgirls without the watchful eye of parents (translation: spoiling them rotten!) :) First of all, what a trip! We haven't been on campus in 3 years and SO MUCH HAS CHANGED! Just walking around made me think about all of the years spent there, all of the friends made and all of the tears shed! I'm so thankful that we are where we are now but of course we couldn't be without those trying years! Glad to leave those in the past.

We were in our hotel and I was preaching to Beatle the importance of brushing her teeth (because we have another cavity!) and she asks, "Well, did you pack my toothbrush?" I couldn't believe it! I hadn't! Oh, no! Brent and Brendle went down to the front desk to get her an extra. Not too long after they got back, Brent was rifling around in his shaving kit and asks, "Did you pack my toothbrush?" Incredulously, I answered, "No! Why on Earth would I pack YOUR toothbrush??? I packed me, our two children, our foster daughter (made all the arrangements for her to stay with another foster family) and our dog. So...why exactly were you relying on me to grab yours?" Sometimes they just need to be reminded that being responsible for just themselves is a luxury! Well, we lost the new toothbrush (this is telling that oral hygiene isn't as high on the list of priorities as it should be!) so it came down to making mine the Roberts Family toothbrush. Yuck, I know!

I heart telling stories on Brent. They crack me (and my fitness classes...shhhh!) up! Given the fact that he NEVER reads my blog, I'm sure my secret's safe. So, here's one. When we first got to the hotel, Brent took the girls to go swimming while I nested our hotel room. So sweet. They came back up saying that the indoor pool felt like there could be glaciers floating around in it! It was freezing. Brent made a deal with Beatle that if she could get from one side to the other, he and Birdie would get in. Despite many attempts, she couldn't because it was just too cold! They went to the hot tub but it was boiling! Too bad there couldn't have been a happy medium. After the conference that evening, both girls stayed with my parents and we went down to try our hand at the hot tub again. It was still SO hot! Brent got in and triple dog dared me to jump in the pool and swim all the way across. Come on, people! It's a triple dog dare! So, I got out and did it! My mind was screaming underwater and my chest was heaving when I popped my head up. Brent started laughing. But I had to show him just how BA I really am so as I was walking back, I jumped in again and swam half the pool and got out at the ladder closest to the hot tub. He didn't laugh the second time. I took my time and eased in the hot tub and was talking about how I showed him and jumped in, not just once but twice. He started disputing the fact that I jumped in twice. I thought I was losing my mind! He finally looked at the wet footprints that led from the ladder to the hot tub and admitted that I must have. I was puzzled by what just happened! Later, as we were toweling off, he admitted that when he started laughing the first time in the boiling cauldron of a hot tub, he got so light-headed that he almost passed out and didn't remember me jumping the second time all! Oh my gosh! Scary!

Beatle got to see her old friend Tamara from Seminary days. We had lost touch with them but luckily her dad still works at the hotel on campus and when Beatle walked up to him, he responded, "Brendle??" The next day when the two girls were playing around the lobby, Birdie was playing on her own and it was just so wild looking at those first graders playing like they were still besties and looking at Birdie thinking, "They became friends when they were just Birdie's age. They were babies!" Time passes so quickly.

On Friday night, Beatle went with Brent and I to the VBS expo. We got to see the musical for next summer, she got to hear all of the songs, we got to do some crafts, see the decorations, sample some snacks, meet Steve the drummer from the Lads (she didn't know who he was before, just that he was a "rock star") and Jeff Slaughter (the guy who has written the VBS songs for the last 16 years). The guy from the Lads gave her a CD and a DVD and Jeff gave her a hug, took his picture with her and signed her VBS shirt. She. was. in. heaven! It is so cute that she gets more revved up about them than Justin Beaver (as she calls him!) It was precious. It was nice too because she went back with us to our hotel room while mom and dad kept Birdie and we had such a sweet night and morning with just her. I always thought that she would think Brent's job is so cool at this age and she does.

Birdie can now say "iPad", thanks to all of this FaceTime fun we've been having. Isn't it so crazy that our kids will grow up with all this stuff?

So, it's Birdie's birthday week! I'm jazzed about her party this Saturday. It should be a good time--now comes the part where I hope people actually come. I've invited only a few families but the average number of kids per family is 2-3 so if everyone comes, it'll be tight but I've never thrown anything where there's been 100% attendence, I don't think, so I'm hoping I got the numbers right. Grandma and Grandpa are awesome and mailing me some money for Birdie's bday to use on finishing her playroom or her birthday party! What a fun gift for momma and Birdie will benefit from it!

We have court for Jas this week. Her mom came to church on her own today. I'm not sure how this whole thing is going to play out. We'll just keep praying and not force anything. The DHS supervisor has asked us how we would feel about the option of an open adoption. I really like her bio mom and we would be open to it but we are cautious. I'm going to send all of our concerns to her in an email this week so at least all the players in the game know right where we stand. It's not as simple as a "yes" or "no" answer for us.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

One more story! I was sifting through papers in Beatle's bag last night and I couldn't believe my eyes when I found one with "I hat you" written on the top. First of all, if you are going to level a blow like that, you need to spell it correctly. (JK!) Secondly, who was this directed at? I asked her to explain it but she started waffling about the whole thing. I can only speculate. When I told Brent after they all went to bed, we couldn't help but get a little tickled by a 6-year-old's rage.

Surprise! Rotten Bananas for Lunch!

The other day, remarking about Baby Jasmine, Beatle said, "She cries to much for my paste." I love it when kids hear something wrong and repeat it. For years, I thought my dad was playing bollyball until it don-doned me that I was too old to not know what those words really were.

Yesterday when I was picking Beatle up from school, Mrs. Sligh told me her report card was in her backpack and then shot me a look with her laser eyes. I am a grown woman but I was scared to look at it and put it off until after dinner. Once again, we are BB (Below Basic) on her overall studies. On the back, the section with the "Conference Requested" option was not only checked but highlighted as well. I swallowed hard and wrote "No, thanks." Hahaha! No, I didn't but I seriously had to stop myself twice from doing it! I'm just conferenced out because I can tell you right now that we're not being called in to chat about how wonderful Beatle is. Instead, I'm going to leave feeling desperate, hopeless and like a failure. A change will be made this year and we are using this spring semester to research all our options; whatever it is though, I don't think Park and their International Baccalaureate (see, I can't even spell it without auto correct!?!) program is for us. We just want the best for our BB (and in our house, BB stands for Beautiful Beatle.)

Birdie now says, "I'm nack-nack!" when she's streaking around the house.

I've been on this zealous quest after Christmas to get more organized, as is a common goal for many. I was completely overwhelmed by the girls' playroom. Plus, Brent's parents gave us their TV armoire (which is awesome because we had the ugliest thing going on in that corner before) but we had our TV sitting on a desk so when we changed it, it displaced 8 junk drawers that had to be absorbed somewhere else in our home until organized. The girls' bedroom is a wreck because Birdie's transitioning from crib to bed and Brent brought home one of those gigantic cardboard playhouses that was used on stage in Children's Church. It was craziness but I've started my organizing and I'm feeling better already! Last week, with a $10 bill in my pocket, I went to poke around one of my favorite junk stores in town to see if I could do some repurposing. I asked if they had anything about 6 feet long that I could paint on and hang flat over one of our couches. The only thing she could think of were some folding closet doors. I only needed one but she told me she could sell me the pair (4 total) for $10. Hot diggity dog! That afternoon when I was thinking about the playroom, I realized that I wasn't using my walls at all and we needed shelves. Moment of genius! I have three other long, deep and light planks that we could paint and put brackets under and make into shelves! They worked perfectly!! Brent hung two for me and now all I have to do is find and paint baskets for a more uniformed look. Plus, we can get down one center at a time and when it's clean-up, they just have to throw everything in that basket and then we can break something else out. Oh, it looks so clean and there's floor space! Hip, hip hooray!

I don't know what the heck happened to me last week but Beatle went to school and opened her lunchbox and all that was in it was her trash and rotten banana peel from the day before! Haha! I couldn't believe I did that!! Poor Beatle, I bet she was shocked. Thankfully, she has an account in the lunch room.

This morning, Birdie was going to sit by Beatle for breakfast but then she just started pointing at Beatle and backing away from her like she was disgusted and horrified saying, "Ewwww! Ewww! Ewwww!". Beatle turns around and looks at me and Birdie and says, "What?" She had a little Hitler smoothie mustache. Haha! Like Birdie never gets anything on her face!

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Domestic Wildcat

My wildcat's been domesticated. Yes, my baby! The one who would rather claw your face off than be rocked to sleep now requests it and every time she lays down for a nap she wants me to lay with her. It's so sweet! I love it. I'm trying to soak it up instead of lying there thinking about what I could be doing. I did that for a day or so at nap time but then I had to reframe my thoughts. She's supposed to go to preschool in the fall and we'll have Beatle in the summer so right now is my prime time with just her. I'll never get this back. This is what I stayed at home for. I have my whole life to scrub baseboards or email people or volunteer for this and that but I'll only have her cuddling with me for a short time. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE 2! (Granted, I'm rounding up by two weeks but when they are mine and I can speak their little monkey language, this is my favorite age!)

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Welcome 2012!

Resolutions...some people think they're jokes but I still make them. Obviously, if you say crazy things and then never make your way toward them, it's your fault, not the resolution's. I really just see them as goals; it's great if you do them, but if you didn't, nothing lost really.

Yesterday, I was on the trampoline with Beatle explaining what resolutions are and what the whole fuss about New Year's is. I asked her if she had any resolutions because I wanted to write mine, Brent's and hers down to keep for next year. I told her she could think about it for awhile but she said she knew what she wanted to do right then. "Grow closer with God and learn to speak Indian so someday I can go to Indiana and tell people about Jesus in their language." We've covered this before!! There aren't many actual Indians in Indiana! After reminding her of that fact, I was trying to feel her out to see how she felt about her body. I thought I was being really delicate and sneaky but then she said, "And, I guess lose weight since that's obviously what you want me to say." We both died laughing. I was totally busted and really embarrassed. But I told her, I just wanted to know how she felt and I thought she was fine and it's not like the doctor's said she needs to lose weight. And then she said, "Actually he has." Then, we laughed some more. I was like a sinking ship! I'm not saying another word. When we make changes, she can't help but change as well so we're just going to refocus. We know what to do, we just need to get back to doing it. One of the things I want to do is institute "The Supper Club" at our house; we'll see how it goes. We tried it at lunch today and it was fun. The rules: No second servings, one new convo topic each night, put your fork down and talk, we must take 20 minutes at the table. I just feel like we slurp everything down, barely taking time to breathe and then it's over just as quickly as it began. I'm hoping this can be something we look forward to and positively impact our eating habits. Of course, like anything else, I have to watch my expectations or it will turn into something from "Mommy Dearest".

Last night, the three of us stayed up to ring in the New Year with NYC. I like doing it that way...one extra hour of sleep and I don't feel like I missed anything. It was crazy though because all of the local channels were postponing the countdown for another hour but MTV and CNN were counting down with NYC. We were watching MTV while playing Skip-Bo (thanks McDonalds!) and Jason Dirulo was performing and then he stepped up to the camera and ripped his shirt off. Beatle just stared slack-jawed at the TV and then turned to us and asked incredulously, "What have I been missing???" I was wondering the same thing! :) Should watch MTV more often...