Reading, Wrecks and Really, Probably Too Much Info

The division between the "haves" and the "have nots" is growing wider at the Roberts' house. I thought it was just coincidence until she started pointing and saying it EVERY time. Now, when I change shirts and it's just me in all my glory, Birdie points at me and says, "Boobers!" I was telling BR and Beatle this at dinner tonight on the back porch and they wanted to do an experiment, so I stepped inside, where no one could see me but Birdie and flashed her (Really...it's best not to just pop by on us. I'd always call first!) :) Of course, she did it again. We laughed and laughed. Then, when Beatle asked, "Lottie, do I have boobers?" and lifted her shirt, Birdie crinkled her nose and shook a disgusted "no". TMI, no?

The monkey has assumed the position on my back again and the thing has returned to my chest. We got a letter yesterday that, based on some testing, Beatle is reading at a Kindergarten level. Oh, but if that's not enough of an insult, they chart it by months too. She's reading like a Kindergartener would in their third month of school. Awesome. And a handy little note at the bottom stating, "It's very important to read to Brendle every night." Brent and I both reached our new height of desperation after that letter. I wanted to cram every book we've ever read to her up someone's po-po. My first instinct was to quit--pull her out of school, hide, homeschool, whatever! Then I realized that wasn't a logical idea because I'm SOO not qualified/gifted/patient in that area. Brent's contribution was to throw her in a private, unaccredited Christian school in town and we would hope she blended in on the Island of Misfit Toys. Honestly, at this point, we've resolved to try to blitz it this year. We have an AMAZING first grade teacher, get her some tutoring and we're going to ride Beatle like a Grand Canyon donkey in one of those scenic tours. If she hates school by the end of first grade, she hates it but Brent and I don't feel like we're afforded the luxury of any other way. This may pass and in a few years, I hope I don't remember what a struggle this was for her or the stress Brent and I feel as parents. Or, it may be her life-long reality and I don't know anyone better than Brent who can model that for her--she can have what she wants but she's got to be willing to work 5 times as hard as everyone else in her class. Flat out, I don't get it...we have video of me coming home from the 1st grade doing homework and that consisted of me writing my name 10 times and I swear to you, Beatle has kids in her class reading Diary of a Wimpy Kid chapter books. Like other jealous parents, I was joking with Beatle when she told me what her classmates were reading and we had each other cracking up. "Whoa, Zach...slow down. What's the rush? You have your whole life to read. Pace yourself, my friend." We have to find humor in this situation or I think we'd all cry.

BR got into a wreck last week. He is fine--thank the Lord! He was in his jeep and an old lady ran a stop sign and hit him. When I pulled up to the scene, I didn't know whose fault it was but assumed it was Brent's because of the way everyone was acting. But no, it turns out you can drive like a bat outta hell but if you have a disabled tag and Jesus stickers all over your car people will be taking pity on you and fetching you glasses of water while you sit in your car like YOU'VE been offended. It was quite hilarious since everyone was ok. Brent wanted to just yell, "Wait a minute...She hit ME!" We got the report today and she was born during WWI. Yes, she is 95 years old and will go to the grave denying that she ran that stop sign.

On the heels of the story above, I'm willing to admit we've been pretty stressed in the last week about the whole situation--the money to fix the jeep, having only one vehicle for now, etc. Like I told my mom today, as Christians we talk about being dependent on Christ, but let's face it--who wants to have their backs to the wall so much that we HAVE to depend on Christ? I like to feel a little more self-sufficient than that. We had some real tight-squeezes in Seminary and when we moved to HS but I resolved to never (if it all possible!) let us get that vulnerable financially. When the accident happened, I remained steadily calm and relatively positive about the whole thing; I just felt that we were being attacked or tested (I still haven't figured out how all that works) this past month and, either way, something spiritual was going on and parlaying its way into the physical. That being said, I let doubt creep in today and started really getting worked up about some of our struggles. But tonight, when Brent was doing budget, we found a check from our mortgage company and that our mortgage was also being dropped $30 a month because we no longer needed to pay our mortgage insurance. I'm so humbled right now; that was enough to know He's in control. I don't know why I don't think He can do things like that or why I don't feel like He's in control! He is! He cares! I serve a God that stopped the sun in the sky so Israel could win a battle and He could have the victory. I only hope I give him the victory and add this to my arsenal when future doubt starts in.