Howl-o-ween pt. 2

To expound on my last blog, we did a big Trunk-or-Treat and tons of families from the community came. And as the Children's Minister, Brent had a rainout plan but he did not, however, have one for if someone was wearing a black t-shirt with white lettering spelling "F@$& YOU". So awkward! I felt so bad for Brent. He made a judgement call to let her go through the trunk-or-treat but some people didn't agree with his call, others thought he was doing nothing so someone approached her at the end with the police officer with them and asked her to change shirts or leave. He even said he had a shirt she could borrow. But the whole situation was so awkward! The pastor thought Brent should have given her a choir robe to wear! I just can't believe someone would think they could throw on a shirt like that and hit the town! I can see both sides, honestly. It was a community event and I don't think we should go out and ask others to change before we get to know who they are. But, at the same time, it's within our right to have wholesome standards for a kids' event. Who knew he needed to have a plan for that??? We'll add that to the list. Brent's in Africa for about 10 days! I can't believe he beat me to the Motherland! I hope and pray he has a life changing experience! Sometimes I need a distance-makes-the-heart-grow-fonder trip. And I know we will be so excited to see him and we still have a week left! It's been awesome tho having a free expression weekend with no one questioning why I'm spray painting, cutting up (his) t-shirts, or buying an old ladder. Sometimes you lose something in the explanation. But, as we resume our regular schedule, we are going to miss going to his office or seeing him at lunch. We'll be brave tho! :)

Howl-o-ween

I find that any holiday is high pressure for a mom, including Halloween. I was a ball of stress the night before and the day of. First off, how awkward was it that it was a Wednesday? So awkward! Because of the placement, it was necessary to do something at church. We did a trunk or treat...easy and gets the candy job done. It was well attended by lots and lots of people from the community by far outnumbering our church folks. But we had just gotten a baby the night before (sweet, sweet baby...still glad he went home to momma but I'm trying to push that one down) and Beatle had her afternoon gymnastics. It was just a tight afternoon/evening getting everywhere we usually needed to be as we'll as remembering all of the girls' costumes, cameras, candy bags, etc. Anyone feeling me? Plus, I don't just take my children, no we have a minibus now so I've gotta fill it up with neighborhood kids and siblings. I tried to be present in the moment and not spaz. I did a decent job. Beatle's best friend lives on the most trick-or-treated route in Hot Springs and I know it's completely self-serving but do you know how much fun it is to bypass the huge line outside their spooky Victorian house and go behind the velvet rope. For one night a year, it makes me feel like somebody. Isn't that so childish?!? I try hard to be humble the other 364 days of the year so let me have my stupid moment. We painted a giant box to look like a Candyland board game and it turned out really well. Beatle was quite memorable, I think. And little Birdie was a pink crayon that we checked out from the library. Does yours clean and display old costumes for families to check out at Halloween? Our library started two years ago and it's great for the second borns that you don't put as much effort into. HA! That was naughty. Sorry! I just wasn't in the groove this year for Lottie and she isn't old enough yet to have a consistent opinion. Beatle and Birdie are starting to play quite nicely together, tho. That's AMAZING! And, Brent and I have been able to sleep in for a few weekends now and the girls are getting up and turning on Netflix. What a wonderful stage the Roberts Family is entering!

Fell off the Wagon

I fell off the blogging wagon a few towns back but I'm scrambling to catch up! So sorry for all the readers...it's a disappointing thing to follow an inconsistent blog! Since school's started I have felt full to capacity. I have accepted a job at FBC Preschool, or "friends school" as Birdie has dubbed it, as the part time music teacher. Adding that to fitness instructor, after-school tutor, Sunday School teacher, respite foster mom and of course Beatle's primary educator, I felt like I was drinking out of a firehose. Things have been coming at me so quickly but I think I've finally found my footing. Maybe? :) Needless to say, I pushed pause on blogging. But even if I can't do much, I'm going to try to blog a little. We are loving homeschooling overall but I definitely have my days where I question what I'm doing. We've completed two units so far: Endangered Animals and Arkansas History. She's doing her presentation over AR History tonight. It's usually a ramble fest but I hope we're working toward better public speaking, she is after all a second grader though. Birdie loves her Friends School! We're seeing a very sweet side of her since she's been going there. I'm so glad other people can teach my children kindness! :)

Bloggity, Blog, Blog

Beatle finally learned to ride her bike without training wheels last night! She's been super motivated to because she found out that in her age division for a triathlon she's wanting to do if she uses them, she won't qualify for a medal. Plus, some boys in the neighborhood have been riding in circles around her. It was cool because one of the boys came with us to a parking lot and was helping to coach her. The only downside was that our new van was the only vehicle in the parking lot and she slammed into the back of it twice. The last time I got it on video...it was hilarious! Beatle just interrupted my thoughts with, "Hey, Bloggy McGee! How do you spell school?" Homeschooling is going well. We're both learning things everyday. She's learning place value and spelling; I'm learning patience and time management. But, already I'm LOVING the flexibility! Last week, Brent brought a band in for a back to school bash and I took Bailey home after it was over and we went back up to church. We got some time together as a family breaking down the equipment and Beatle got some one on one time with the band. Best part--I wasn't stroking out that it was 9 on a school night. Don't get me wrong, there have already been things that we feel like we've missed out on not going to school but when we went camping last Thursday and Friday, it reminded us that it's a trade that we're happy to make. Birdie is loving school. She has a great time and feels all big. She's only going part-time so she's not getting too burnt out. She's saying all kinds of sentences now. One time we sprayed some perfume that had gone bad and she said, "Yuck! I'm getting out of here!" that was her first big sentence and she hasn't looked back since.

Blogging in the Back

Birdie's got a new pet...a dead cicada named "Scooby". We told her that she needs to take good care of it so it won't die. :) She's been taking it everywhere and "feeding" it raisins. We've been enjoying our time at home before we leave again next Monday. We had a great time in Arlington, TX with our preteens doing missions. I went as a cook. I enjoyed it but it was really physically demanding. All of the plumbing and cooking equipment was on the first floor. I was climbing about 15 flights a day with ice chests, grocery bags, crock pots, etc. I made up for it though and ate my weight in Little Debbie's!!! For a few quiet hours everyday, I was left alone with the bevy of Little Debbie's the other cook would buy. It was like a buffet from hell! It's absolutely my weakness so I don't know if being left in a cabin to sneak eat is my calling; I don't have enough self-control to just play cards or something normal. We've ruined my parents from ever taking Suzy's children to Six Flags. They brought ours down to join us on our Six Flags day so they could hitch a ride back to AR on the church bus. My parents said that they would be happy to bring the girls to us again next year but they WILL NEVER go to Six Flags again! Poor guys! Sorry! I'm placing my last few orders for Beatle's curriculum. I got further confirmation just today that I'm making the right decision for Beatle. I'll spare you the story but I just have a peace about it. At the present time, I'm sitting in the back of children's church listening to this goofy dinosaur/creation video Brent is having the kids watch. I feel guilty that these kids have to suffer through this and I'm blogging by the glow of the iPad so I guess I'll join them. TaTa

Noodlin' and Doodlin' (in my drawers!)

The Roberts family is sitting all clumped up toether, pillow pets, car seats and giant yo gabba gabba plush toys take over the First Baptist bus seats early this morning. Once again, we are doing one of our from Ok to Ar by way of Tx trips. We have spent the last three weeks running around like crazy! Three weeks ago, we had two foster boys--4 years and almost 2. We really fell in love with them! We were just a stop between a grandfather sending them back into care and a therapeutic foster home. As you can imagine, with 4 kids in the house there was no time for blogging. All four of them got along so well though. It was a simply wonderful week. That weekend, we realized that if we ever wanted to get the boys back on a semi-permanent basis and more presently, just to survive long road trips with two fuss buckets in the backseat, we needed a bigger vehicle. We traded in the Matrix (which we SO loved!) for a Honda Odyessy--same year, same miles. We really like the room and the entertainment package in the back. It's a really smart and well designed car. It was a lovely trip to Ok on the week of the 4th, thanks to our "new to us" car. Brent and I have joked for years that we'd like one of those privacy windows that roll up in limos to separate the back from the front, and the Odyssey is the closest thing we've found to it. When we got to ok, time flew. We relaxed when we could. I got a stomach bug and was down for most of the 4th. We were all scheduled to go noodling with my uncle that morning in a dirty, old ok river. I knew that if I called it off citing tummy troubles they'd think I was chicken and I can't have that. So, I toughed it out, knowing full well that if I did poop my pants in the river, it was already so yucky, no one would be the wiser. Most of the catfish had finished nesting and were headed out to the lakes but with my uncle Joe's help, we hemmed up a 5 lb flathead and he let me pull it out. Brent held the camera bag. :) at one point later in the day, brent admitted looking at me with my feet and body shoved up under a rock and pond scum floating around my face, he thought to himself, "I love that hillbilly woman." I'm a lucky girl to have someone who can look at me with hearts in their eyes at a time when I have the runs and am doing something as goofy as noodling. After our catch, we went to t-town and ate breakfast to celebrate. I ate dry toast and shivered with the chills till I begged my dad to take me home. Once there, I crashed all day. Got up, with the sweaty chills, put on a brave face and made t-shirts with the kids. I was no help to my poor mom that day! To be continued at a later time, we're fixing to make a rest stop.

There's only one way to spell Coke and that's not it.

I'm so thankful that my children don't know yet that they have the meanest mom in the world. Ok, I'm not THE worst but I've been so pumped up by my homeschooling literature that I sprung it on Beatle after a week off of school that we're starting up. She wasn't thrilled but she has hung with me and we have had a great time. On Memorial Day, I realized that her skills are at their peak right now, she doesn't want to go outside because it's so hot, we're already doing the Summer Reading Program at the Library, and I don't want her to lay around watching TV because "she deserves it" so why not go toward more of a year-round schooling format? It's like we're getting a headstart so I already feel successful. We've had a great time; however, it has proved a little tricky with Birdie running around. That girl is fiercely persistent and contrary. I love her so much but sometimes (like today!) the only thing that gets me through is remembering how much I wanted her. We have GOT to point that girl in the right direction and she will be a force to be reckoned with for God and His glory but if not, it could potentially be every parent's worst nightmare. Beatle's a funny lady. I was teaching the kids' Wednesday night class last night and she was busting my chops in all the right ways--so hilarious but not disrespectful. However, we're realizing that Birdie will also do about anything for a laugh. She thinks it's hilarious to pray for poop everynight now. She gets stuck on it like a scratched record...only because big sister thought it was funny two nights ago. Beatle is trying to spell secret messages to me but it's pretty sketchy since she just finished 1st grade! She also likes to try to spell really fast. I can't even begin to think of how many times I've cringed and told her that C-O-C-K does NOT spell Coke!!! Aghhh! We are living in the house of horrors! We have wasps that live in the attic during the summer and sometimes they can drop down through our recessed lighting and buzz our heads. Then, after we came in from the back yard, Birdie had a flea on her leg and later, I had one on my arm. Yesterday, 3 giant waterbugs appeared in 3 different rooms. When I was going to walk around to the front of the house to push the trash to the curb, I saw a huge snakeskin by our back porch and wait...it actually CAN get worse...we have something living in our bedroom wall!!! Hold me! Thank the Lord we bumped it up to a quarterly contract last time our pest control guy was here and he's coming tomorrow. My eyes are constantly sweeping the floors, walls, yard and Brent is sleeping closest to the scary wall as my buffer. Is it any wonder that poor Birdie is having nightmares of "big bugs"???

Don't Make Me Call You a D**** H***!

Eating cold pizza, still in my jammies, one's in bed and the other's watching Sesame Street, and it's after 9am...I LOVE SUMMER! The relaxed schedule, the laid back nature of the world...it's wonderful. I say that and instantly feel a little pang of guilt because this is the time of year my husband's blood pressure and anxiety go way up. I just do my best to keep the girls preoccupied, the home calm and my schedule open and accommodating for ways we can help him. This week has been the first week of Summer and everyday, we've had someone drop in for us to watch for a few hours. The girls have enjoyed having visitors and I enjoy our home being a place where people know they're welcome. Last Friday, we went to Beatle's awards assembly. Thank the Lord for the Good Citizenship Award! It gets us through every time. :) Last Wednesday, at gymnastics, they were giving out trophies and certificates to everyone. They were doing a fantastic job of assigning specific awards to kids to highlight their strengths. They got to stand on a platform, just like at the Olympics. Everyone had received their award when the instructor said, "Last, but not least...Sarah So-and-So." There I was with video camera in hand, puzzled. Oh, man. They forgot B. I knew they'd make it right afterwards but she wouldn't get her moment in the sun. Beatle held it together, she didn't get pouty or upset even though she later admitted all that was running through her head at the time was, "Oh man, I must have been a really bad student if everyone else got an award but I didn't." They were lining the kids up for a group picture when the instructor noticed Beatle didn't have anything. It wasn't too late! They sat everyone back down and made it right and she got the Awesome Attitude Award. Now, like I told her later, wouldn't have that been interesting if she had just thrown a ring-tailed fit because she was overlooked just to jump up there and get the Awesome Attitude Award??? Awkward! I'm proud that she's received awards that relate to her good character; those can translate well into life. Changing the subject, but you can't tell because my browser no longer supports the new Blogger and I can't create a new paragraph... :) On the evening of last Friday night, we threw a killer end-of-the-school-year party for these little First Graders. Brent was going to be on a retreat but it got canceled and Zac and Suz came to visit so I had a crew of WONDERFUL helpers. I had fully intended to do it on my own but it would have been a stressful nightmare. Having the adequate help I needed, the School's Out Sligh-ma-thon was a BLAST! We played messy games and it ended with an Oatmeal fight--students vs. the teacher and her family. We had a jam-packed weekend with Zac and Suzy but it was so fun having them here all to ourselves! Last story of this blog, I have a friend here who teaches Beatle sometimes and I teach her son in one of my classes. I've found that a wedge is coming into the relationship because she insists on telling me everytime that Beatle steps over the line or pushes boundaries in her class. To me, your job as the present adult is to reel them in and if it is consistently happening and they have a flagrant disregard for the teacher's instructions, then yes, talk to the parents but it's hurtful having all of these weird little conversations when, being ugly here, there's a lot of conversations we could be having about her son too! But the other day, when she was gone and a sub was in place, I realized that there's something else that we're being robbed of while she's tattling on Beatle--the ability for the Holy Spirit to work. If these children are Christians, they have the same Holy Spirit we have and we need to give It some room to work instead of smothering them with virtue and manner teachings. We were riding in the car home from the church activity with the sub and out of nowhere Beatle says that she needs to tell me something because she's feeling really guilty. There was a new boy there and he was taunting Beatle and she started calling him bad names back. I wanted to cringe but I was so excited to see the Spirit working and I want to encourage honesty--and c'mon! We all do crap like that and admitting that we did something wrong is hard! So, I was listening (so proud that I wasn't lecturing this time) when she was rattling off names like "sissy" and "fancy pants" but she was hemming and hawing about the last one. I was a nervous wreck as she was working up the nerve to tell me the last and most horrible name...finally..."Mom, I called him...a...dream head. I know! I know, it's bad!" I wanted so desperately to giggle with relief at this most ridiculous of accusations. Thank the Lord it was just Dream Head and thank you Lord for your power of conviction; may she always be sensitive to that feeling.

A Black-Eyed Birdie

I had resolved not to tell Beatle when she was released from the doctor to do cartwheels or handstands and just wait until she felt the urge again...and it happened two days ago, right on schedule with his orders. I guess, as much as it is annoying to have her flipping all over the place, I did miss it and was a little nervous that the stage was officially over. But now we are back to our house feeling much like Shawn Johnson's Bounty commercials. Do you ever forget God's in control? I do! As much as I love what Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace has done for us, we still are living solely on a minister's budget with a wife that loves travelling and a husband that has things that follow him home from unsupervised trips to the store. ("How did that get in here?") :) And, I don't know about you, but I have alligator arms that find it hard to reach in my pockets when it comes to boring, necessary, grown-up purchases (tires, air conditioning filters, appliance repairs). I only share these things because I often need the reminder that He's in control. Every summer, our AC is like the Little Air Conditioner that Could. We hold our breath and try not to work it too hard. Last year, we got a part replaced and he said, "It could last 2 months or another 10 years." Well, in April, on a trial run, it wasn't working--just blowing but not cold. We shut it off and spent the month of April with windows open. I was just sick about it. I really was contemplating going without an AC for the summer...I mean, it IS a luxury for most of the world and a relatively new invention! Brent wasn't really on board with that notion (probably because he knows how hysterical I get when I'm hot). Well, I tried it again the other day and it worked! It's been working beautifully ever since. Could it break in a week? Probably but what a blessing! Then, Brent's jeep has been acting all screwy but we both know nothing when it comes to cars. Our minds were going to a dark place--a new transmission?? Yesterday, he called to have them tow it to the shop and the lady over the phone diagnosed it for him (we love our mechanic shop!!!) as being low on clutch fluid (Brent was leary that she was just setting him up to check for something that didn't exist, like blinker fluid). But, using the same fluid they had given us for the van two years ago, Brent was able to fix the jeep! Again, these things could all give out tomorrow but but knowing that He provided for yesterday, reminds me that he will provide for tomorrow. Birdie's eye has been horrible ever since her stumble last week. It was completely black but it's finally fading a little. These two scraggly men at Wal-Mart (give me two scraggly men any day over little, old know-it-all ladies!) were remarking to one another, "She's got a shiner." "Yeah, but I'd hate to see the other kid." Love it! Last night, I was looking for my keys. I had really been willy-nilly with my stuff a few months ago so I had resolved to be better and was truly puzzled that I had misplaced my keys. I told Brent about it and he said, "Oh, you probably left them in the key basket on the fitness ministry desk." "Wait...what? I NEVER put them in the basket." Then he sheepishly realized that not only did HE leave MY keys in the fitness ministry basket at church but he gave it away to me. He said I left them in the jeep but I reminded him that I stayed behind at the jeep (because I was feverishly looking for my keys!) and he went in first to the church. I never left them anywhere! He stole them! Don't you just love it when you win a playful and rousing game of "Who's right and who's wrong?" I know I do! :) So, two life dreams accomplished in two weeks! I got to use a zero-turn radius lawn mower to mow a yard. SO MUCH FUN! I was cheesing the whole time. And a picture of the girls is now hanging in a portrait studio. I walked in to pick up my picture order and said, "Hey, I know those girls!" That was beyond cool. There's just nothing that endears yourself to someone as when they cherish your kids or think they are as beautiful and wonderful as you do!

My School's Dis-Stricter Than Your School

My old computer is not handling these Blogger updates well. One of the things it won't do is separate my paragraphs so it just looks like I've typed a running stream of consciousness. Sorry! Beatle did great on her solo. She was praying the night before, "God, I need your help to do this. It's not like I can just go up to Mrs. Edgin now and tell her I can't do my solo. There's no turning back and I'm so scared." But on the day of the program, she did great! She went to the crystal mines yesterday with her class and came home absolutely filthy but proudly hauling a bag of crystals she found. She's been scrubbing and scrubbing those things on the backporch to make them shine. She estimates that it will take about three days total to get them ship-shape. :) Yesterday, at Game Night, one of the girls was talking about how strict her school is and Beatle said, "Yes, that's why they call it 'our school dis-strict'." Bahaha! We all just laughed and laughed. We are just days away from summer! Yay! Can't wait to have Beatle at home. Poor Birdie busted her face this morning. She was being my "friend" in the bathroom and didn't give enough room for the step out of our tub and she stumbled into it, cracking the side of her face on the tub. This is her worst boo-boo to date. Her eye is almost swollen shut and it's cut a little on the side. It is awful! I feel so bad for her! Thinking about last weekend in Oklahoma, she kept my dad busy swinging her outside. That girl can log some hours in the swing! We had such a wonderful trip to OK--visiting with family, celebrating Dad's retirement, Becky's birthday and Zac being home. It was laid-back and truly enjoyable. Last night, I had a life-changing moment. I'm not going to spend too much time talking about it because I don't want to cheapen what I experienced and I don't think you can truly understand unless you go through it--I know I didn't. I was asked to wear full Muslim garb (burka/imbya) for the 3rd and 4th grade girls class. I thought, "No big deal. I'll help out and play dress up." I was fine but when she put the veil on me--the full, black veil--I really almost lost it. I never saw that emotion coming! The only thing showing were the top two joints on my fingers. It wasn't so much pity for the women that have to wear that daily, I mean, that was there but it was extreme appreciation for the fact that I can be ME! I can wear what I want, I can do what I want, I can vote, I have a college education and my girls can do all of those things too. I always thought I was thankful...and I think I was, but it was without understanding what life really could be like.

I love YOU, baby!

We're having an identity crisis. I feel assured that Birdie will be my last "baby" so sometimes I call her Baby but she wants to be a big girl ("big burl") sometimes and a baby other times. So last week, when I said, "I love you, Baby." She said back, "I love YOU, baby!" :) Her ability to effectively communicate has grown by leaps and bounds in just two weeks. She's adding extra syllables to longer words and getting it closer to the correct sound. I was a little nervous about her ability to communicate last year. When we had Nadya, who was three months younger, Nadya was making sounds and babbling but Birdie didn't. Beatle's such a big talker so I was hoping that Birdie wouldn't be overshadowed but once she made up her mind to talk, there's no stopping her. Some of her favorite responses are "Heck, no!" and "Shoot!" :) I don't remember Beatle parroting us as closely as Birdie does. Scaryville! But by far the cutest thing she says is, "Yes...ma'am." And when she says that to Brent, Beatle loses it. (I saw Nadya on Easter at church. I literally gasped and said "Nadya!" and then instantly reeled it in when I remembered that her new family renamed her and she wouldn't remember me anyways. It was really emotional for me; she looked so big and pretty. But as her new big brother marched her by the hand down the hall, she turned back to look at me again. I felt like God gave me that moment.) Go on a feeling journey with me. Sometimes I get these feelings that something epic is around the bend. It could be superstition, the Holy Spirit or just weird ju-ju but whatever it is, I like to have my eyes wide open for the next two weeks or so. Well, a week ago, I had that feeling. Every phone call Brent got, I perked up a little more but alas, nothing. Yesterday, I was getting the girls ready for church and as I was sheparding Birdie to the car, I felt this huge knot on the base of her head/top of her neck. Really bizarre. She indicated that it was tender to touch. I got to church and the message was about grieving well. I was trying to suppress my weird feelings about the knot. After church, I told Brent and when he felt it, he got really nervous. I was going to watch it for a day or two but he wanted to call one of our doctor friends because although we never came out and said it, our minds were going to a really dark place. We needed some other potential explanations to help us reason this out in our heads. Our friend eased our minds by suggesting that it could be a infected lymph node (I didn't realize that we had them on the back of our heads). We're still going to be watching it but we feel more comfortable now. Uncle Zac is back from Afghanistan! Hooray! We got to watch him coming home over the Internet on a live streaming video. It was way more emotional than I expected it to be. We're so glad he's back! We got to FaceTime with him and Suzy on Saturday morning and will get to see them in person this weekend! Yay! I am ecstatic to announce that after much eager anticipation, we found out that Beatle got Spider Solo #1 in the spring musical!!! :) She was SO hopeful that she would land it. We just squealed when she told me she got the part. She's going to do great! We're going to the Orthopedic doctor today to see if her hand has healed from her fall from the monkey bars. She's ready to get her splint off and get back to cartwheeling! Couponing Crisis: I have really tried to devote myself to couponing the last two months to save us some money at the store. The first time I did great but the last three trips I've made to the store, I haven't felt that successful. Of course the receipt says that I am, but balancing what we need with what's on sale with what's healthy for us with meal planning with our grocery budget with comparing it to the store brand prices is about to drive me crazy! There are so many things to factor in!!! Plus, crunching numbers does NOT play to my strong suits. I think you can really cash in if you devote lots of time to it but I'm not willing for that to be my part time job. I think it's definitely a balancing act but I'm getting close to waving the white flag once and for all and resign myself to buying store brands for the rest of my life. Justin and Jessica, our dear Seminary friends who live in KY now, had a conference last week in Dallas so we met in Memphis for lunch (We were in the area for a VBS clinic) and caravaned to our house. They stayed the night with us and then, after the conference on their way back to KY, they stopped back in for another night. We had such a fabulous time with them. It just seems like the longer I know someone, the harder I laugh. I don't laugh like that with new friends. We had such a great time!! We got to meet their baby girl, Katherine! One thing that they've taught me in the last 6 years is how to love other people's kids--the way they talk to our girls, send them things and just genuinely seem to appreciate them for who they are is inspiring and endearing. We just love those McDonalds! Thanks for making time to see us while yall were passing through. We're looking forward to Summer! Only 19 more days! Whoop, whoop!

Tramping and Stamping

Late Breaking News...we suffered a monkey bar trauma during after-school tutoring on Thursday. (Funny, I thought she was staying after for tutoring, not extra recess but that is a small side note.) I got a call to come get Beatle. I decided to take her straight to Urgent Care even though I thought it might just be a sprain but she actually did fracture it! :( They put it in a hard splint and we will have to have it casted some time this week. For someone like Beatle, who's temperament already bends the melancholy way, the first 24 hours were very tearful. These moments of sadness would wash over her when she realized yet another limitation she would have to face being a temporary one-armed person. "No swimming! No gymnastics! No cartwheels!!!" (Cartwheels are her life! If you have the privelege to be around her much, you've probably had a swift kick to the gut or at least a close call. She can't help herself. She can go into a cartwheel trance anyplace, anytime. Beware!) Her mental state is much better now but she's been so clumsy this weekend and has fallen at least a half-dozen times; it's made me a nervous wreck. It's like she's bound and determined to break both arms!

Yesterday for Easter, I had the girls' matching dresses all laid out with their headbands but it wasn't until Saturday night that I realized that they had completely outgrown their white shoes and they had nothing but tennis shoes or black dress shoes to wear! haha! I can't believe I overlooked that! Thankfully, I'm getting ready for a consignment sale so I dug out some shabby white shoes for them to wear. (Beatle crammed into some 2 sizes too small!) The girls looked fantastic from the knees up. :) I'll have to pick some new ones up for them soon.

Birdie is just talking away. After they hunted eggs, we gave them some gifts; of which, Beatle got some earrings. Birdie just announced, "Dolphins!" We were all stunned. She nailed it. Dolphins aren't animals that are often in animal board books or anything so we were shocked. About 10 minutes later, Beatle said, "La-la, say 'Beatle, I forgive you.'" Birdie said, "Heck no!!!". She's a mess. Poor thing, she couldn't make a good choice to save her life on Saturday. I'm so glad Brent was home too that day; she wore me smooth out. We are trying so hard to celebrate her good choices because she could give a flying flip about the negative consequences. Yesterday, she had a great day and before bed we each grabbed a limb and hoisted her up and down cheering for her. That was fun. :) We're doing lots of hand stamps and praising.

On Friday, we went "tramping". Brent projected a movie onto the building behind our house and we ate Little Debbies and slept on the trampoline. He has lots of great ides. The difference between him and myself is that he can make them happen. I just dream it but don't understand what I'd need to make it happen. I'm like an ape banging tech things together with my guttural cries.

After we hunted eggs, I thought it would be fun before we pitched them into the canyon to throw them like pop-flies in the air and try to catch them with a butterfly net. Then, Brent couldn't resist and tried to nail Beatle with one. (He said that it was all broken up but we just saw it whiz by her head.) That turned into war! Birdie was walking around shaking her finger at us saying, "No fight!" Then, Beatle tried to get me and cracked poor Birdie in the back of the head. So then, Beatle was public enemy number one! Even though our Easter was a little different this year, we still had a great time and Samson loved the backyard clean-up duty.

Thank you, God. Amen. Konichiwa.

Beatle's been ending her prayers with the Japanese word "Konichiwa." Haha! Not sure...

Yesterday morning, we (Brent, Beatle and myself--Birdie actually slept in. Gasp!) groggily came to the table and despondently stirred our oatmeal. With our hands wrapped tightly around our coffee mugs like that sweet elixir was our only hope to help us start our day, we didn't have a whole lot to say to each other. After whining about starting a new week, I realized that we were moping around like a group of whooped dogs. I had never watched Pollyanna as a child but during the winter we had checked it out from the library. To remedy our case of the Mondays, I decided that we would play the "Glad Game" from Pollyanna to pep us up right before we went our separate ways "because we know that this is the day that the Lord has made and we should rejoice and be glad in it." Quite honestly, I don't even remember what Brent and Beatle said they were glad for. (I was exhausted, people!) But I do know that I actually had a fabulous day and so did Beatle and so did Brent. I know it had everything to do with focusing on the good because it definitely could have been a bad one.

"My brothers (and soul sisters!), count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience." James 1:2-3 (Sidenote shoutout: Never had I done a Beth Moore study. Never understood what the hubub was all about but just finished her study over James--it will change you! I looked forward to it every week and cried when it was over. Baby, weirdo, call me what you want but it was fantastic!)

Last night, I had finished my Monday night fitness classes and was feeling good. I was headed home when Brent called asking if I wanted to go to Larry's--the ridiculous pizza buffet that we always binge at. I didn't want to. I was feeling good. I had my Fitness Staff shirt on. I was ready to go home and cook a delicious meal of cabbage. What? Oh...no, nothing else with it just tender, delicious cabbage. I knew it was going to be a tough sell to my family on any night but this night with Brent already turning on me and Beatle, the ever present eavesdropper, getting ramped for Larry's, I figured that they could possibly stage a coup or a walk-out if I told them cabbage was waiting for them. So, I reluctantly acquiesced but I had to run in and change shirts first. We pulled up to Larry's and saw a terrible sight--the lights were off. For two Sunday evenings, we've fought the urge to go, knowing they are closed Sunday nights but when we showed up this Monday, we saw on the door that their night off had changed to Mondays. Whaaa! Ok, staying positive. Just swallow all of the drool that was already pooling in your mouth and pick a different place. We could not agree! That was not like us. We usually always can agree. So, I forced their hand and said that if we couldn't figure anything out, we might as well save our money and go home to cabbage. They quickly chose Appleby's (we're not normally Appleby's people so again, weird). The parking lot was empty and it was raining. I usually always wait for Brent to get Birdie out but Beatle and I ran on ahead to get out of the rain. They seated us right under a blaring TV so we just asked to move where it was quieter. The whole night, it just felt off, like we couldn't get situated. The girls had to pee twice after our food got there. (Twice??? Really???) Brent volunteered to drive across the street to Kroger to get some decaf coffee and cookie dough to take back to the house while Beatle pumped her dollar (that she brought for Larry's arcade area) into the new fangled juke box. He came back in the restaurant while we were listening to "Billionaire" and desperately implored, "Please tell me you have your keys." "I do but they're in the car." We locked not one but two sets of keys in our car (not the record, mind you, the locksmith said he's seen three. Whew, we squeaked out of holding a shameful record.) Seriously, I had a mystifying calm that Brent wasn't sure to even trust for awhile. :) Brent called the locksmith and we kept the dollars flowing into that jukebox and turned Appleby's and its two other occupied tables into a dance club. Of course Beatle rarely needs an invitation to bust a move and Birdie's growing into her moves like Jagger. I spared the 6 people mine but it was somewhere during Beatle's rendition of "Crocodile Rock" and Birdie running barefoot back and forth saying, "wheeeee!" that I saw that God had given our family the ability to choose joy during our funky night. I felt honored that our faith was being tested and I really think for once I might have passed one of those tests!

I know I'm getting windy and maybe a little too far out there for some of you but this morning as I was flipping on the lights in our laundry room, my eyes scanned the room, looking for...it's hard for me to even type...roaches. Yes, roaches. We've spotted three by our back door this weekend. Yuck! We battled them around Christmas and the buggers look like they are trying to make a reappearance. But, this morning my mind went back to "The Hiding Place" written by my namesake Corrie ten Boom. When her and her sister got to Ravensbruck concentration camp, their barracks were infested with fleas and her sister Betsie told her to give thanks for the fleas for they are one of God's creations. Corrie thought she had lost her mind. But during their time there, they had unimaginable freedom in their barracks to hold Bible studies and prayer times and it was only until years after she had left that she learned from a former guard that no one wanted to enter those barracks for fear of the fleas. God had used those pests for his glory! This morning, I was trying to process why we keep having this problem. I keep a clean home and we have someone who comes and sprays when our problem flares up. Yes, someone who comes to spray...Jesse! Jesse, who initiates spiritual conversation with me every time he enters our home. Jesse, who was raised only knowing the fear and wrath of God, not the love and redemption story. Jesse, who I can't help but enjoy his engaging personality when he comes. This morning, while I was making my beloved coffee, I got misty-eyed with the notion that God is after Jesse to return to his faith and is using our roaches to do it. Some of y'all may think I'm nuts but I beg to differ that our God is just too big to always understand and in that case, I'll just keep trying to blindly give thanks in all things.

Gotcha, God! :)

Beatle's been praying her little heart out again. With all of the household changes, we weren't being very consistent on a bedtime routine but we're getting situated again with Bible reading (thanks Amanda for introducing us to the ZonderKids Bible thru your blog--we love it!) and praying. Last night, Beatle was just chit-chatting with God. I so wish I could take a picture of BR's face while she prays. After a long day, it's a mix of pleasure in listening to his little girl talk to God and "Could ya wrap this thing up, already?!?" Well, last night I was stifling my "church giggles" when she said, "God, you are my real dad. My dad on Earth isn't a real dad." BR and I exchanged glances and I almost lost it. "I mean, of all the dads on Earth, he's the best dad I've ever had." She went on awhile longer and finally was wrapping it up and said, "And God, I just hope you have a great Christmas Eve today. Just kidding! April Fools! Amen." I couldn't help it. I lost it. The three of us both did. That girl's so crazy.

Birdie's been enjoying playing doctor lately. Now that she knows the word "Come" she's running me even more ragged. :) No, I'm truly cherishing this time with just her. Now that the days are nice, we've been spending the mornings outside on our swing set. She loves being outside. She accidentally put her hand down on a caterpillar and it surprised her so that kind of ruined the caterpillar catching for her, for now.

A Blur of a Month!

March Madness is right! :) We have been in and out of our groove this month. San Diego, Norman, Branson...what a fun month! April's going to be full too. BR's turning 35, Uncle Zac comes back from Afghanistan, VBS clinics around AR, Beatle's school testing, consigning clothes, Momo and family in from KY, catching caterpillars, Easter...whew! Wild and wooly; I wouldn't have it any other way. Not to mention, two of our fitness instructors were injured on a ski trip and I may have to cover more classes.

As far as stories go about the girls, I don't know where to start! I'll just have to start in the present or I'll feel overwhelmed trying to backlog everything. However, speaking of the past, Beatle's party was SO much fun. I love her little friends. When I was praying with them and tucking them into bed, it was then I realized how awesome her friends are. She's got such sweet people around her from families who are instructing their children according to the same Biblical values we hold. Blessings! Of course, you want your children to reach out to children who are different and who need the changing power of Jesus but for their core group, we couldn't ask for better!

We're kayakers now. Yes, you read correctly. Brent found some being clearanced out and researched them on amazon and they got amazing reviews. The catch is they are inflatable which is kind of weird but it works for us because a) they were affordable b) we don't have to store a 14' kayak in the off season c) we don't have to invest in a rack to load it onto and d) if we did a rack, we'd have to pick which vehicle would be our "kayaking" vehicle. It really works for us. We have had so much fun! Can't wait for more camping/kayaking adventures since the season is just starting!

At Beatle's school, they tack parent/teacher conferences on the back end of Spring Break so Beatle was out today. She starts back for her last 9 weeks tomorrow! She, like all other students and teachers, is itching for summer! We're working on a big party for her class on the evening of the last day of school, reminiscent of the Mashed Potato Fight but on a 1st grade level. We're going to call it "School's Out! Slime Out!" It should be a great time where kids can get as messy as they want. However, speaking of those P/T conferences, gotta go get ready for ours!

A Quick Overview and Beatle's 7!

Two weeks abroad. I love it! We went to San Diego for Brent's annual Children's Pastor's Conference for a week and then I lingered in OK to help my sister pack her house up so she could move to Fort Hood to wait for her lovely husband to come back from Afghanistan. I had a fabulous time with Brent in CA. We got a Fiat, met Rick Warren, met Phil Vischer, met Jamie Grace, saw a beach so beautiful that I misted a little (La Jolla) and froze our little tushies off--it was much chillier than it's ever been when we've been there and of course I didn't pack appropriate clothes because it's California, baby! I missed the girls more this year than last but I tried to be brave; it was only a week. The girls were so happy to see us and had a fabulous time with grandparents and aunts. When I came back to OK, I did work but it was nice to sleep in, have coffee already made in the AM, do dishes just because I'm feeling nice, and eat out with parents picking up the tab. Sadly, I was reluctant to come home to AR. Not to see Brent and Beatle; I wanted THEM but I was apprehensive to return to our grueling schedule. I asked that Brent give me a soft opening. He kindly obliged and we played in Little Rock all day on Saturday--celebrating Beatle's birthday. He brought me coffee in bed yesterday as he was leaving for early service. He's good to me!

No more Ja-Ja. We had to force our hand and be more cold than I'm was comfortable with. We left for San Diego and took all of her things to DHS and told them that our friends would keep her the week we were gone but after that she needs to go somewhere else. It was tormenting for me to do that; I really had to lean on Brent's resolve. I hated it but with them, you give them an inch and they take a mile. The supervisor still lied to our friends and said that they didn't know she needed to be somewhere else at the end of the week even though the last time we interacted with her she said, "I know, I know. She needs to leave their house by Friday." Long story short: they hustled (like they should have done 6 weeks ago) and placed her with her aunt. Hooray! I believe in my heart of hearts that was the best decision for baby Ja-Ja.

My load is so much incredibly lighter without a foster child in our house. We're going to keep it this way for awhile. Not only is a baby gone but so are all of the stupid last minute phone calls, all of the WIC appointments, the supervised visits, the home visits, the static that swirled around our family, etc. I loved it because I was tangibly helping someone in need who couldn't help themselves. I loved it because I was trying to show Jesus to a whole group of people. And I loved it because it "took me to the well" instead of being walled up in our church staying busy with "righteous" activities. So, I must find something else that stretches me and takes me to people who need Jesus. I'm sure I will; not compromising the gift of the short time my children need me too.

Life this weekend was so nice. Even though we've had breaks fostering in the last year, it's nice to grow up. Birdie's potty trained now and we can go wherever the wind takes us without a diaper bag or bottles. We went to Little Rock to see the Lorax for Beatle's 7th Birthday, then on to Chuck E. Cheese to play some games, ending at P.F. Chang's where Beatle said she "had never felt so special". :) Today's the actual day. We got her some Toms and she felt like a rock star. We had cupcakes for breakfast. Friday, we are doing a sleepover with three friends.

Lately, Birdie's been ending her prayers with "Tada!" Cute. Better get to some other things...I'll try to post some pictures from this weekend later.

At the airport, with a sign, hoping to pick up joy

With the scent of dill pickles filling my home, I sit to recount yet another week gone awry. Thanks to the prayers of many, I can only now look back and laugh about parts of this week. In the moment though I could feel Satan's fiery darts. I sat rather clueless in my James Bible study earlier this week as we discussed anguish and how the definition means physical and mental torment but with God, anguish gives birth to joy. I think I can give a pretty good testimony now!

On Tuesday, my Mom's sister had surgery and the next day they realized that she was losing way too much blood. It was so scary, as my aunt already seems so tiny and frail. They pumped her up with a blood transfusion and took her back in for surgery. It was very reminiscent of what happened to me after Birdie was born. I truly felt like I could pray for her intimately every step of the way. Praise the Lord that she seems to be on the mend now but it sure wasn't easy on her or on any hearts that dearly love her. Anguish.

Thursday, Brent and I made a few calls about Jasmine's case and found out that we've really been misled. The plans to move her to her aunt's doesn't seem like it will be anytime soon, if in the cards at all. It feels like after four months in, we're still at the beginning. It not Jasmine's fault but for a month it's felt like she's had one foot out the door. Plus, due to the Holy Spirit's leading, Brent's just introduced the ability to foster at a church-wide level but how do we move forward with that when we'd never want our friends to subject themselves to the heartache and betrayal we've felt. Anguish.

Brent's parents' house got broken into. They are such hard working and generous people. Anguish.

(This is the only one I can laugh about now!) After taking out all my frustrations and giving my brain a break during a hard workout, I was feeling better thanks to endorphins but I had to call my sister to unload about all the craziness. Brent was at a meeting in Little Rock and I didn't want Beatle to hear all of this so I had resolved to talk on the front porch. Jasmine fell asleep in the car so I left her there while I escorted Beatle and Birdie inside and hung my keys on the hook. I was dividing my attention between keeping an eye on the car and looking through the glass storm door at the girls in the living room. I didn't think much of it when Beatle came to tell me something except when she was struggling to get back in the house. I had to let my sister go to investigate myself. Yes, a nightmare had come true. Birdie flipped the lock on the glass door and I was utterly and completely dependent on a two-year-old to let me back into my own house!! Trying to coach her on how to unlock the door and hearing her say "poo-poo" from the inside...anguish! It was unbelievable. I tried to tear the whole door down but I'm not nearly as fierce as I think I am. I called Brent wailing. Next call, 911. It was awful. Only when I heard the dispatcher chuckle did I realize that it could be worse. The lady police officer showed up and eventually wound up using my tire iron (i didn't exactly know where to look for that right away) to pop the door open. It actually didn't harm the door at all. Oh, the kicker, my two dweebs wound up getting teddy bears from the police officer for their distress. Are you kidding me??? I needed flowers, a strong drink, a cigarette, something for my distress!!! All in all, I think the whole thing lasted about 45 mins to an hour.

Today, in my kitchen, we had an entire jar of pickles become a casualty as Beatle grabbed the lid, not the jar. So, if you don't like the way dill pickles smell and you live or visit my house...anguish. :)

Waiting for something beautiful to come from the ashes. Till next time!

Beatle and the Great Exploding Backpack Trick

So, have I blogged about the gentleman at school who assists the children get out of their cars in the morning? I think I have. Beatle's so awkward with him! We're really trying to work through that. She says it's because he wears too much cologne and says things like, "Go get 'em, Tiger". Getting out of the car in the morning is high pressure and Beatle is usually in her own world, unaware of the anxious, rushed people around her trying to make it to all of their places on time. She's mostly just preoccupied with trying to avoid the greeter, afraid his cologne will blow on her and make her smell like a man.

Brent came back home to switch cars after dropping her off today and said that once again, her backpack exploded. This usually only happens on a big day. As he tells it, she wanted to get out early while traffic was stopped instead of waiting until they got to the front of the school. (This is a risky move because if not done quickly, traffic can back up in to the road thereby making lots of people cranky.) Was she trying to avoid the smelly-good, jolly man? Possibly. Was she just so jazzed to bail out of the car because it is V-Day? Probably. I had all of her Valentines (spoons dipped in chocolate with M&Ms and sprinkles) tucked away in two big cups and zipped in her backpack but I fear when someone helped me put her lunchbox in there this morning, the zipper was neglected. And when she hopped out at that critical moment and went to sling her Barbie backpack where it belongs, spoons went flipping through the air and flying everywhere!! All 23 of them. Brent and Beatle scurried around picking them up and she hopped back in the car, in the floorboard actually. She just couldn't go in right then; she needed a minute to compose herself. The pulled up to the designated unloading spot and she got out with (hopefully!) all of her Valentines. (The upside: I was too lazy to label all of the Valentines so we left them generic and I sent two extra so at least I know everyone will get one and no one will feel slighted if one's still in the parking lot.)

Keepin' it Real, Negative-Nelly Style (Sorry!)

So, last week was awful. How do you like that opening? Makes you want to dive right in, huh? :) Turns out the girls had an order of Strep all around. You haven't lived until you take three little people to the doctor to get swabbed. Birdie has always been crazy sick. Beatle's just pitiful and sweet--you want to do anything you can to comfort her. Every once in awhile, Birdie will want to sit on my lap but mostly, she's converting the exam table paper at the doctor's office to next New Year's confetti, trying daring feats of acrobatics in the waiting room chairs, and sifting through the biohazard trashcans looking for something good. (I kid! She's never actually fully-opened the trash can but I have had to sit on it before to keep her out of that tantalizing orange box.) The nurse came in while Birdie was doing some move in the chair that I learned at the Burlesque studio for my sister's bachelorette party and I told her, "Believe it or not but that one's actually the sickest." Then, when the doctor came in and she was being a Tasmanian devil, I told him, "Doc, if this is her sick, don't make her well!" She definitely needed to get better tho. We had tried to shake this thing on our own but she wasn't improving and her behavior was beyond. She'd lure me in to hold her but toward the end of the week, I didn't know if she was really going to hug me or pimp slap me. That's the thing when they are sick, you don't know how much to make concessions for--if it is them not feeling well and how much is just plain unacceptable. On Tuesday, I tried all day to be so gentle and loving, talking through every bad choice. By the end of the day, I was ready to get all black-momma on her and take my shoe right off my foot and whoop her good! It was just a constant struggle all week, possibly the perfect storm. We had just introduced the big girl bed, which for anyone who's made that transition, you know what I'm talking about. You work so hard to get your kid to sleep all through the night and you get about a year of that and then they promote and it's back to interrupted sleep, nightmares, etc. By Friday, I was starting to crack up due to lack of sleep, not being able to move without someone crying about it, and having every inch of my life interrupted. Besides getting them all on meds, we've made our guidelines about interrupting to Beatle clear, Birdie's successfully slept in her bed for three nights in a row, I'm giving myself more permission to be a person and Birdie's had a crash course on what will land her in timeout. I think Brent and I are turning this crazy train around but it's definitely been a team effort because I was running on empty.

Last night, I cut Beatle's hair. She was wanting me to cut like she had it when she was three. Crazy, that doesn't seem so long ago! I did and I think it's a cute little haircut...maybe a little amateur. Unfortunately, it does make her face look rounder. I'd NEVER say that to her tho. I kinda feel like I'm staring at myself when I was younger. She loves it though and kept looking in the mirror yesterday. One time she came out of the playroom to tell on Birdie and she seemed distracted in her speech and I told Brent, "I bet she's looking in the hallway mirror while she talking." He totally busted her! I'm glad she's so happy with it; I just hope no one says anything mean about it.

About haircuts, Brent followed Beatle in my funky little living room hair salon but between hers and his, he got me fighting mad. Bad idea! When he walked into work this morning, one of the ministers said, "Whoa! Look who got into a fight with a razor." Brent corrected him, "No, I got into a fight with the barber. This is a revenge cut." I didn't mean to botch it but I was mad and in a hurry. Not a good combo. I tried to fix it but I've done all I can until it grows out a little more. :O/


Last night, Brent watched the girls while I went to a Bible Study. When I left, Birdie was running around in just a long shirt and Brent was telling her how she needed to get panties on. When I came home, two hours later, she was in the same shirt standing on the stepstool. I asked her if she had on any panties and she just lifted her leg, like a dog at a fire hydrant and nonchalantly said, "Nak-nak". That girl! The touch of clothes must burn her body--I'm surprised she still had the shirt on.

That stepstool is a thorn in my flesh. She can push it around to anything. Nothing is off limits to Birdie. Last week, she discovered where I keep the finger paints, the laundry detergent, and permanent markers. The kitchen counter is now her snack bar. It's crazy! It's not like I'm laying around watching TV or hitting a bong! She's just that fast! I'm either tending to another child or another task and bam! Huge mess! So then, she goes to time out for getting into things she knows she's not supposed to be in and I'm her "in time-out entertainment" on my hands and knees scrubbing (for a lot longer than the minute per year suggestion!) At the end of an unusually hard day, my mom sends me a text saying, "I know you don't believe it but you're going to miss this." It was late, I was sleepy and overly emotional so I didn't text back what I wanted..."No, I won't miss this day. In fact, I just want to take a crap on it, flush it down the toilet and never see it again." I was just so raw last week, in a way that's new to me because Birdie's temperament is so different than Beatle's. Parenting is not for the lazy!!

Yesterday morning, in my three-year-old Sunday School class, we were making Valentine's Day sun catchers--super cute. The lead teacher was putting the finishing touches on them while I was writing their names on them and putting them with their things. One of the little girls coughed and Ms. Bobbie said, "Oh, are you sick?" and then BLEH! BLEH! Up it all came all over the floor and Ms. Bobbie's foot. I grabbed the trash can and told the kids to go sit on the rug on the other side of the room. Ms. Bobbie starts coughing and gagging and I told her, "Hold it together, Ms. Bobbie! I can't lose you too! If you need to (motioning to the door)..." She stepped away to get Brent and the custodian and I took the girl to the bathroom to clean her up. Poor thing! You could tell, that had been churning for awhile. And then one very-verbal, usually-rude but always-honest boy said, "Ewww! It's so stinky in here!" It was so crazy! We had to change classrooms and everything. Not your typical Sunday to end my not typical week! Haha!

Today, we had a snow day (even though there's not one flake left on the ground now!). But it's been a nice, unexpected day to slow down and take it easy. Last night, Beatle and I hung two ice wreaths outside (found it in Family Fun magazine--we froze red heart ice cubes and then put them in a cake pan with a cup in the middle). All day, we've been admiring our wreaths, drinking coffee, and staying in lounge pants. Brent brought his work home and my fitness classes are canceled for the night. Life feels good again. Thank you Lord for new days and fresh starts...I don't know what I'd do without them!

What hurts? La-La

Last week, I tried to get back on the healthy eating band wagon. Since the New Year, my give-a-dang has been busted but I'm really trying to refocus. So, I pulled some stuff out of the freezer (February is our clean-out-your-freezer month, anyways) that I had made back in the summer when I was on my hardcore Metamorphosis plan. I had slow-cooked some chicken breasts with rosemary and we were going to have some sweet potato and white corn puree on the side (my Metamorphosis food). (Strained face) Mmmmm! Honestly, it resembled something Jasmine should eat, not us. But I served it with a straight face and rockin' presentation. While I fiddled around with my chicken, I watched Brent and Beatle try it. Brent shuddered a little with the first bite but quietly trudged onward. Beatle declared after her first that it was disgusting and she wasn't going to eat anymore but after Brent revealed that I lived for this dish back in the summer because I was so hungry and we played up that it had a sweet taste and it was healthy, she conquered it happily. Birdie took a bite and spit it back out. Later, we tried to get her to take another bite. It ended up half on her plate and half on the table with only a thick slobber string connecting them. When prompted to try again, she implored to us, "I choke. I choke." We all died laughing and did not make her eat anymore.

Speaking of that little Birdie girl, she has been my conjoined twin this weekend. I was just talking to a friend of mine last week about how healthy Birdie's been. Besides a snotty nose here and there or puking twice, she's been great for the past year. Hallelujah! Last week, she was complaining of her "woo-woo" hurting her and complaining when she went pee. With Beatle's urinary problems starting around the age of two, we wanted to get this checked out. Well, nothing like going to the Doctor's office to get you sick! No urinary problems but some kid, with his mom watching, hijacked Birdie's sippy cup and took a drink. Stunned that she didn't do anything to stop it, I asked, "Is he sick?" The flippant reply, "Oh yeah, he was running 104 last night." I should have just taken her cup to the car but I was worried that she needed to drink to help her imaginary urinary problems so I washed the top off with hot water and soap in the bathroom. I asked for it, I guess. Anyways, she's been sick all weekend--running a temp, which she never does, and totally glued to my side. She started saying, "Hurt. Hurt." When I asked, "What hurts?" She pointed to herself and said, "La-La." :(

Beatle lost another tooth yesterday which brings our grand total to 7. It's so cute to see her big teeth growing in; it's changing the way she looks a little. I'll catch a glimpse of her sometimes and see a young woman in there, waiting to make her debut a few years from now and then I get a lump in my throat. On the flip side, she lost one right by her two big front teeth, I'm rooting for her to loose the other before Easter so she'll have her own set of bunny teeth.

Despite my best efforts, I am the World's Worst Santa/Tooth Fairy/any other fantasy roles parents are supposed to be! The last tooth she lost, there was a big debacle where it fell out of the keeper before bedtime but I didn't know that and she checked again before bed and there was no money or tooth in there and she was crushed. So, I had to put a note in there with money after she went to sleep. We all know what happened at Christmas. Oy vey! (Here's the problem: She jumps the gun and checks things a million times before morning!) Then last night, I was expected to creep into her room containing now a dog since we have my mom's dog, Samson, a sick two-year-old having fitful, feverish sleep and a hyper-vigilant 6-year-old who has already experienced more harsh revelations in the fantasy department than I care to dispense in a lifetime. As I was rocking Birdie to sleep, I was trying to slyly convince her to put her tooth closer to the outside of her bed, but she insisted on putting it closer to the wall. By that time, I was already sweating. Then she announced that she needed a drink. While she went to the kitchen, I summoned Brent telling him I needed the gold coin and TIME! Beatle needed his help getting a cup while Birdie and I slipped out to the living room under the guise of forgetting Birdie's "bankie" out there. Brent and I shook hands in the Dining Room (cause that looks totally natural!) and I had the coin! We grabbed the "bankie", trembling, I found the pillow and the tooth, made the switch and was back in the rocking chair when she came in. Of course, she started fiddling with the tiny pillow and realized that the tooth fairy already came. She was in shock and then she was disappointed. Really? Disappointed? I can't win with this kid! She was sad she didn't have anything to look forward to in the morning. I went with it for awhile and then I told her that I think she was the only kid in the universe that was disappointed that the tooth fairy visited them!

Yesterday, Birdie was so sick but Beatle had her laughing so hard while they were in the tub together. I was amazed, honestly, that she had it in her to be laughing that hard. I remember when Suz and I were about that age and my mom saying that they couldn't get her to laugh like I could. There aren't as many sounds as sweet as your children enjoying each other.

Y'all, we are SO excited about next school year! I've been researching, reading things and talking to people like crazy about curriculum options and philosophies of home schooling. This morning, I had a friend call me after she left from volunteering in Beatle's classroom saying that Beatle's sparkle was gone. (We are most definitely aware of that fact.) She went on to delicately tell me the story of her daughter and how she was diagnosed with and treated for ADD in the third grade and how they wished that they had helped her sooner. She's also shared with me how they reached the decision to retain their son and how they are so glad they did. I know that everyone's got a different opinion about how we should handle this situation and I truly love this friend and know she was counseling me out of love (and who knows? we could wind up doing both things someday! I'm not dumb enough to say never!) but I'm so excited to try another option first that works with Beatle's strengths and challenges her weaknesses in her "habitat". And, everyone I've talked with that have made the switch, don't regret it. I swear, this won't turn into a homeschooling blog! Will it make cameo appearances? Yes. But I just wanted to include an excerpt from this book (For the Children's Sake by Susan Schaeffer Macaulay) I've been reading that kind of sums up how Brent and I feel about Beatle and her public school experience thus far. "Good little Sally made only one mistake, she gets an A! But poor struggling Johnny tried his best and is rewarded with a D. How can Johnny ever take proper joy in the fact that he learned a new step?...The Bible teaches that we are like parts of a body. In other words, we are different from each other, we all have different gifts. How immoral (I wouldn't have chosen a word that strong!) to apply an arbitrary yardstick to the little child and expect him to progress at some 'normal' speed! We take from him the joy of accomplishing new skills which should be part of growing up." I think it's a strong possibility that this is why she may be so discouraged right now and why her "sparkle is gone". 'Nuff said.

We're Coming Out

Listen, I have an announcement to make and quite frankly, I'm more comfortable with saying that I'm gay than what I'm about to say...we are going to homeschool Beatle for 2nd grade. Yes, we are now officially freaks to society. I saw it coming but this is the nail in the coffin for any cool-points I hoped to score. I'm sure our decision will be misunderstood by some, judged by others and we'll be back-slapped by more awkward people than I care to be seen with in public.

Reasons: Things are not working well with the school she's at. Because of the way God made her, she requires more individual attention and less distractions. I have the opportunity to be one-on-one with her for a year of intensive study to (hopefully!!!) catch her up (Birdie will be going to preschool in the fall). And, it will work better with Brent's work schedule since his stands directly opposite of the school's schedule. Translation: Anytime we want to get away and have family time, someone is missing something important that they should be doing. It is ABSOLUTELY NOT to hide her away from the world! If anything, I hope we can experience more of the world by appointing a time during the week for us to volunteer (outside of the church) together. And this is ABSOLUTELY NOT an insult to public schools!

We've looked at another school that would be great for Beatle. It would be a slower pace than what she's in right now and they do math and reading interventions and pull-out programs that she would absolutely benefit from but the point is, it's still school. She'll still have the same yearly schedule, daily schedule with homework at night with the same pressures that testing and mainstream academics bring these days. I think we all can agree that public school has changed a lot since most of us went and that chop-chop, high-pressure experience is absolutely not Beatle. Beatle's not competitive so things like AR tests don't motivate her. She becomes easily discouraged. She's as slow as a turtle. If I told her to run because there was a man with a gun, she'd need to stop and tie her shoe and then she'd wonder what kind of gun he had and what got him to that point that he'd need to wield a gun. She's not a strong independent worker because she lacks focus. Her current teacher said that Beatle requires a lot of time to complete things and she needs a smaller ratio. When we toured the other school, I asked how many per class because it looked smaller and the Dean of Students, said that there were 20 per class "of course ideally, we'd love it if there were 10 per teacher." I can do 1-to-1! I hope that this adventure will challenge her in her weak areas; teaching her to be a self-starter, giving her lessons including things she likes and feels successful at, while demonstrating the need to complete things in a timely manner. It will definitely challenge me in the patience department! We fully intend to re-evaluate this decision every year and if we go back to public, she would be very happy at the school we toured last week.

In the 4th and 5th grade, I terrorized a kid at church because he was SO WEIRD! He had a weird name, a weird accent, ate weird things things like clam chowder and, worst of all, he was HOMESCHOOLED!!! Who does that?? I was so pro-public school and so ignorant and opinionated about homeschool for the last 20 years that when these ponderings started bubbling up in my heart a few months ago, I was both horrified and excited because anytime I've felt led to do something directly opposite of what I want to do, I know that's part of how God leads me. Beatle and I may go down in a blaze of glory for the 2nd grade but we are going to give it our best shot, by golly. And like Beatle's said before about home, "Mom, this is my habitat."

Ok, major change of subject. This has happened twice with people at church! Two women have mistaken Jasmine for Birdie. How does this happen??? Do they even know my family? First of all, Jasmine's half black for crying out loud!!! There would be some major problems if I birthed Jasmine with my white, minister husband standing by my side. Secondly, time flies, people! Birdie can drive now. Ok, not that much time has flown by but still, we can definitely sit-up on our own by now and have had a couple of birthdays under our belt. Once, I'd just chalk it up to some batty (or blind!) old lady but twice?!? That's a head-scratcher.

Faith Lessons from Children

Honestly, I do everything people ask me to do usually without asking question and I'm not much good at flexing my "no" muscles especially when it comes to what "a good mother would do". School is one example. I take everything too much to heart when they say Beatle needs improvement. I just feel desperate. There's another mom I just think the world of and her daughter and Beatle have always been about on the same level and when she goes in for conferences, she doesn't get all wrapped around the axle about what they say. She usually just ends the conference with, "She's just fine but thank you." with a big smile on her face and leaves, knowing that they're doing the best they can and, at that point, what more could you do?? Another example, we got a letter in the mail from Children's Hospital telling us an appointment time and date for Beatle's kidneys to be checked again. It was on my calendar and I was planning on going but then Brent asked, "Why is she going back? They released her from her medicine and she hasn't had one infection since." Wow! I never thought about NOT going. Silly Mom. Beatle added, "Yeah, I'm not really feeling the cord up my po-po thing." We laughed and she said, "Oh, not a cord, a tube up my po-po. I mean, why do I have to go in and have them fill me with fake pee and then let it out." Brent asked, "Would it all be worth it if we took you to Chuck E. Cheese afterwards?" (our usual Little Rock stop). She hesitated awhile and then said, "No." She continued her explanation by doing a hilarious rendition of what it would look like with her waddling around Chuck E. Cheese trying to play and other kids beating her to every machine. She's such a hoot! She never had to waddle through Chuck E. Cheese though because I canceled the appointment.

Jasmine's still here. She's really trying to get around and sit-up. This morning though, it was so sad. She was sitting up but then toppled over. At first, I didn't think the tumble was that bad but right by her eye started getting red and puffy. :( Right before one of Jasmine's first visits with her mom, a baby at daycare crawled over to Jasmine and scratched her face. I hadn't met her mom yet and didn't know it until a few weeks later but her mom saw her, she hit the ceiling, calling her attorney and everything about it. There was an abuse investigation opened on us which I didn't know about until I got a letter saying that the abuse was unsubstantiated on us and we would NOT be listed in the Child Abuse Registry! Ok, I understand they need to keep a watchful eye on the kids and look out for their best interest but that scared me!! It makes me nervous to think that I'm trying to do something good and it could blow up in my face and tarnish our reputation for life. For the past week, Jasmine's had and unsteady stomach and it left her bottom raw. It made me sad but the daycare and I were doing everything we could to keep it clean and dry. Well, while talking to Jasmine's aunt last night, she said Mom freaked out again and was commanding Lauren to give her my number. I told Lauren that we could have talked about it but I wasn't going to have her yell at me--especially when she's feeding her ravioli at visits!! Give me a break! (Plus, it hurt my feelings because I thought Mom and I had gotten to a good place.) So, this morning when she bumped her eye, I was getting upset about it because I knew that Mom would freak out and open an investigation on me again. After mentioning it for the second time, Beatle said, "Trust God, Mom. He's in this battle for you." I took it in for a second and she's exactly right. I have nothing to hide. I'm in His hands and that's a peaceful place to be.

Birdie's at that wonderful stage of development where she says at least two new words a day. It's so exciting! This morning, she kept getting up at the breakfast table and Brent was repeatedly telling her to sit down but then she started saying, "BB, juice. BB, juice." And Beatle realized that she had left Birdie's cup in the kitchen, instead of bringing it to Birdie's place setting at the table. It's nice for everyone when they can communicate!!

Pancakes, Pajamas and Puke!

What a fun but busy weekend! Whew! I sometimes worry about too much but this weekend I was really trying to make an effort to enjoy Birdie's party and not get caught up stressing about the little things. I think I was successful! We got a lot of pajamas for Potter's Clay (a shelter for women and children) and it was fun to fill the clothesline up with the jammies people brought. Plus, a brilliant sidenote that I didn't think of until after the party, but Birdie's got a bad case of the "Mine!"s so I'm really glad I didn't have to break up any baby fights over new toys.

The party started off with a bang. I decided about 45 minutes early to start the pancakes and keep them warm. Well, my schmancy cake batter pancakes weren't holding together (panslop, anyone??) and I was flat out of flour. So, panic started setting in a little until I found some self-rising flour in my freezer. Then, a family arrived a few minutes early and he was really excited, his mom said, but as soon as he got out of the car, he wasn't himself. We found out why when he threw up all over our couch a few minutes later! We puke everywhere we go so I can't be mad at the guy. I was trying to be accommodating and sweet but I really needed him and his puke stench to leave before my other guests arrived!!! Nothing says, "Welcome to my home" or "Who's ready to party?" like the smell of puke and birthday pancakes mingling. I felt so sorry for the little boy but would you believe that we were able to clean it all up, give them a craft for the road, their favors, spray air freshener and sanitize the door handles before anyone else arrived??? It was a birthday miracle! I found it ironic that the card they brought for Birdie said, "Hope your birthday is full of surprises!" Oh it was! :)

We had such a great time. All the adults got along and we chatted forever while the kids played (and there was no fighting between them! another bday miracle!). We colored on tables, did Fruit Loop necklaces, ate the fun cake-cakes, jumped on an air mattress in the living room and made Birdie feel special. A party well done, I'd say. It was easy, breezy fun. Bailey stayed longer for a more mature playdate with Beatle afterwards.

All week, we've been asking Birdie, "Whose birthday is it?" She's point to herself and say, "La-La" We'd ask, "How old are you?" Holding up a whole hand, she says, "Mmmm two!" When I tried to show her how to hold up two fingers and folded her others down, she said, "Ewwww!" haha! We're not sure about why that's ewww.



New developments about Jasmine: At court on Wednesday, they decided that she would go and live with her aunt, who is great so we feel good about the decision. It's a tiny bit sad but we knew that was a very real option. She's supposed to go sometime this week. In other news, when we were at the courthouse, I found out earlier that day, they closed the case with baby JJ that we had this summer. He's healthy, with his mom who's got a great job and gotten rid of the bad influences in her life. (She's an older mom so I really think she's got her priorities straight this time.) It sounds like a happy ending and that made me feel good.

Nothing says "Togetherness" like a Community Toothbrush

God made me with a sense of adventure and part of that is I love to travel!!! Even better, bringing the girls along. Does it get hairy? Is it stressful packing little people too? Yes and yes! But as Birdie gets older, it gets easier and I love it so much!

This weekend, we got the opportunity to go to Ft. Worth for Lifeway's VBS Training. Brent is part of the state team that will go around this spring and do clinics. So, of course, I wanted to go too! My parents were so awesome and they met us in Ft. Worth so I could attend some of the conference sans children and they could spend some quality time with the grandgirls without the watchful eye of parents (translation: spoiling them rotten!) :) First of all, what a trip! We haven't been on campus in 3 years and SO MUCH HAS CHANGED! Just walking around made me think about all of the years spent there, all of the friends made and all of the tears shed! I'm so thankful that we are where we are now but of course we couldn't be without those trying years! Glad to leave those in the past.

We were in our hotel and I was preaching to Beatle the importance of brushing her teeth (because we have another cavity!) and she asks, "Well, did you pack my toothbrush?" I couldn't believe it! I hadn't! Oh, no! Brent and Brendle went down to the front desk to get her an extra. Not too long after they got back, Brent was rifling around in his shaving kit and asks, "Did you pack my toothbrush?" Incredulously, I answered, "No! Why on Earth would I pack YOUR toothbrush??? I packed me, our two children, our foster daughter (made all the arrangements for her to stay with another foster family) and our dog. So...why exactly were you relying on me to grab yours?" Sometimes they just need to be reminded that being responsible for just themselves is a luxury! Well, we lost the new toothbrush (this is telling that oral hygiene isn't as high on the list of priorities as it should be!) so it came down to making mine the Roberts Family toothbrush. Yuck, I know!

I heart telling stories on Brent. They crack me (and my fitness classes...shhhh!) up! Given the fact that he NEVER reads my blog, I'm sure my secret's safe. So, here's one. When we first got to the hotel, Brent took the girls to go swimming while I nested our hotel room. So sweet. They came back up saying that the indoor pool felt like there could be glaciers floating around in it! It was freezing. Brent made a deal with Beatle that if she could get from one side to the other, he and Birdie would get in. Despite many attempts, she couldn't because it was just too cold! They went to the hot tub but it was boiling! Too bad there couldn't have been a happy medium. After the conference that evening, both girls stayed with my parents and we went down to try our hand at the hot tub again. It was still SO hot! Brent got in and triple dog dared me to jump in the pool and swim all the way across. Come on, people! It's a triple dog dare! So, I got out and did it! My mind was screaming underwater and my chest was heaving when I popped my head up. Brent started laughing. But I had to show him just how BA I really am so as I was walking back, I jumped in again and swam half the pool and got out at the ladder closest to the hot tub. He didn't laugh the second time. I took my time and eased in the hot tub and was talking about how I showed him and jumped in, not just once but twice. He started disputing the fact that I jumped in twice. I thought I was losing my mind! He finally looked at the wet footprints that led from the ladder to the hot tub and admitted that I must have. I was puzzled by what just happened! Later, as we were toweling off, he admitted that when he started laughing the first time in the boiling cauldron of a hot tub, he got so light-headed that he almost passed out and didn't remember me jumping the second time all! Oh my gosh! Scary!

Beatle got to see her old friend Tamara from Seminary days. We had lost touch with them but luckily her dad still works at the hotel on campus and when Beatle walked up to him, he responded, "Brendle??" The next day when the two girls were playing around the lobby, Birdie was playing on her own and it was just so wild looking at those first graders playing like they were still besties and looking at Birdie thinking, "They became friends when they were just Birdie's age. They were babies!" Time passes so quickly.

On Friday night, Beatle went with Brent and I to the VBS expo. We got to see the musical for next summer, she got to hear all of the songs, we got to do some crafts, see the decorations, sample some snacks, meet Steve the drummer from the Lads (she didn't know who he was before, just that he was a "rock star") and Jeff Slaughter (the guy who has written the VBS songs for the last 16 years). The guy from the Lads gave her a CD and a DVD and Jeff gave her a hug, took his picture with her and signed her VBS shirt. She. was. in. heaven! It is so cute that she gets more revved up about them than Justin Beaver (as she calls him!) It was precious. It was nice too because she went back with us to our hotel room while mom and dad kept Birdie and we had such a sweet night and morning with just her. I always thought that she would think Brent's job is so cool at this age and she does.

Birdie can now say "iPad", thanks to all of this FaceTime fun we've been having. Isn't it so crazy that our kids will grow up with all this stuff?

So, it's Birdie's birthday week! I'm jazzed about her party this Saturday. It should be a good time--now comes the part where I hope people actually come. I've invited only a few families but the average number of kids per family is 2-3 so if everyone comes, it'll be tight but I've never thrown anything where there's been 100% attendence, I don't think, so I'm hoping I got the numbers right. Grandma and Grandpa are awesome and mailing me some money for Birdie's bday to use on finishing her playroom or her birthday party! What a fun gift for momma and Birdie will benefit from it!

We have court for Jas this week. Her mom came to church on her own today. I'm not sure how this whole thing is going to play out. We'll just keep praying and not force anything. The DHS supervisor has asked us how we would feel about the option of an open adoption. I really like her bio mom and we would be open to it but we are cautious. I'm going to send all of our concerns to her in an email this week so at least all the players in the game know right where we stand. It's not as simple as a "yes" or "no" answer for us.

One more story! I was sifting through papers in Beatle's bag last night and I couldn't believe my eyes when I found one with "I hat you" written on the top. First of all, if you are going to level a blow like that, you need to spell it correctly. (JK!) Secondly, who was this directed at? I asked her to explain it but she started waffling about the whole thing. I can only speculate. When I told Brent after they all went to bed, we couldn't help but get a little tickled by a 6-year-old's rage.

Surprise! Rotten Bananas for Lunch!

The other day, remarking about Baby Jasmine, Beatle said, "She cries to much for my paste." I love it when kids hear something wrong and repeat it. For years, I thought my dad was playing bollyball until it don-doned me that I was too old to not know what those words really were.

Yesterday when I was picking Beatle up from school, Mrs. Sligh told me her report card was in her backpack and then shot me a look with her laser eyes. I am a grown woman but I was scared to look at it and put it off until after dinner. Once again, we are BB (Below Basic) on her overall studies. On the back, the section with the "Conference Requested" option was not only checked but highlighted as well. I swallowed hard and wrote "No, thanks." Hahaha! No, I didn't but I seriously had to stop myself twice from doing it! I'm just conferenced out because I can tell you right now that we're not being called in to chat about how wonderful Beatle is. Instead, I'm going to leave feeling desperate, hopeless and like a failure. A change will be made this year and we are using this spring semester to research all our options; whatever it is though, I don't think Park and their International Baccalaureate (see, I can't even spell it without auto correct!?!) program is for us. We just want the best for our BB (and in our house, BB stands for Beautiful Beatle.)

Birdie now says, "I'm nack-nack!" when she's streaking around the house.

I've been on this zealous quest after Christmas to get more organized, as is a common goal for many. I was completely overwhelmed by the girls' playroom. Plus, Brent's parents gave us their TV armoire (which is awesome because we had the ugliest thing going on in that corner before) but we had our TV sitting on a desk so when we changed it, it displaced 8 junk drawers that had to be absorbed somewhere else in our home until organized. The girls' bedroom is a wreck because Birdie's transitioning from crib to bed and Brent brought home one of those gigantic cardboard playhouses that was used on stage in Children's Church. It was craziness but I've started my organizing and I'm feeling better already! Last week, with a $10 bill in my pocket, I went to poke around one of my favorite junk stores in town to see if I could do some repurposing. I asked if they had anything about 6 feet long that I could paint on and hang flat over one of our couches. The only thing she could think of were some folding closet doors. I only needed one but she told me she could sell me the pair (4 total) for $10. Hot diggity dog! That afternoon when I was thinking about the playroom, I realized that I wasn't using my walls at all and we needed shelves. Moment of genius! I have three other long, deep and light planks that we could paint and put brackets under and make into shelves! They worked perfectly!! Brent hung two for me and now all I have to do is find and paint baskets for a more uniformed look. Plus, we can get down one center at a time and when it's clean-up, they just have to throw everything in that basket and then we can break something else out. Oh, it looks so clean and there's floor space! Hip, hip hooray!

I don't know what the heck happened to me last week but Beatle went to school and opened her lunchbox and all that was in it was her trash and rotten banana peel from the day before! Haha! I couldn't believe I did that!! Poor Beatle, I bet she was shocked. Thankfully, she has an account in the lunch room.

This morning, Birdie was going to sit by Beatle for breakfast but then she just started pointing at Beatle and backing away from her like she was disgusted and horrified saying, "Ewwww! Ewww! Ewwww!". Beatle turns around and looks at me and Birdie and says, "What?" She had a little Hitler smoothie mustache. Haha! Like Birdie never gets anything on her face!

Domestic Wildcat

My wildcat's been domesticated. Yes, my baby! The one who would rather claw your face off than be rocked to sleep now requests it and every time she lays down for a nap she wants me to lay with her. It's so sweet! I love it. I'm trying to soak it up instead of lying there thinking about what I could be doing. I did that for a day or so at nap time but then I had to reframe my thoughts. She's supposed to go to preschool in the fall and we'll have Beatle in the summer so right now is my prime time with just her. I'll never get this back. This is what I stayed at home for. I have my whole life to scrub baseboards or email people or volunteer for this and that but I'll only have her cuddling with me for a short time. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE 2! (Granted, I'm rounding up by two weeks but when they are mine and I can speak their little monkey language, this is my favorite age!)

Welcome 2012!

Resolutions...some people think they're jokes but I still make them. Obviously, if you say crazy things and then never make your way toward them, it's your fault, not the resolution's. I really just see them as goals; it's great if you do them, but if you didn't, nothing lost really.

Yesterday, I was on the trampoline with Beatle explaining what resolutions are and what the whole fuss about New Year's is. I asked her if she had any resolutions because I wanted to write mine, Brent's and hers down to keep for next year. I told her she could think about it for awhile but she said she knew what she wanted to do right then. "Grow closer with God and learn to speak Indian so someday I can go to Indiana and tell people about Jesus in their language." We've covered this before!! There aren't many actual Indians in Indiana! After reminding her of that fact, I was trying to feel her out to see how she felt about her body. I thought I was being really delicate and sneaky but then she said, "And, I guess lose weight since that's obviously what you want me to say." We both died laughing. I was totally busted and really embarrassed. But I told her, I just wanted to know how she felt and I thought she was fine and it's not like the doctor's said she needs to lose weight. And then she said, "Actually he has." Then, we laughed some more. I was like a sinking ship! I'm not saying another word. When we make changes, she can't help but change as well so we're just going to refocus. We know what to do, we just need to get back to doing it. One of the things I want to do is institute "The Supper Club" at our house; we'll see how it goes. We tried it at lunch today and it was fun. The rules: No second servings, one new convo topic each night, put your fork down and talk, we must take 20 minutes at the table. I just feel like we slurp everything down, barely taking time to breathe and then it's over just as quickly as it began. I'm hoping this can be something we look forward to and positively impact our eating habits. Of course, like anything else, I have to watch my expectations or it will turn into something from "Mommy Dearest".

Last night, the three of us stayed up to ring in the New Year with NYC. I like doing it that way...one extra hour of sleep and I don't feel like I missed anything. It was crazy though because all of the local channels were postponing the countdown for another hour but MTV and CNN were counting down with NYC. We were watching MTV while playing Skip-Bo (thanks McDonalds!) and Jason Dirulo was performing and then he stepped up to the camera and ripped his shirt off. Beatle just stared slack-jawed at the TV and then turned to us and asked incredulously, "What have I been missing???" I was wondering the same thing! :) Should watch MTV more often...